Sail - H.S.

3

HARRY

When I had Luna it was one of the happiest and scariest moments of my life, she was born in crucial moments rather than peaceful happiness. She was the only happy part of that day.

As I walk around my house, I gather any items that need to be put away yet I have 3 main things on my mind that drive me away from the work I'm currently doing.

Picking up the kids, Sage, and her.

The pictures of her that haunt my hallways. The pictures of her before Luna's arrival. The pictures of her that drove me into deep depression. The pictures of her that I cannot find the heart to take off.

Though it's been 6 years, it always feels like it was yesterday.

The day I lost Elina was the day I couldn't fully mourn her over because she left me with a responsibility and the last piece of her love.

Luna.

I had to make sure my daughter was safe first and foremost then recognize my grief over Elina. She never deserved to die giving birth to the one person we both longed for so much. Within seconds my entire life changed, everything I had suddenly felt like a never ending nightmare.

I will never recognize my daughter's birth as something that is to blame, I will and would never treat Luna as a burden or a mistake. She was someone we longed for, someone we unconditionally loved, and someone I will protect with my entire life.

It's always been me and Luna, I've never fully committed to a relationship ever since. Sure, I have slept around and flirted but I never even had the idea of dating someone. I always feel like it'll just be Luna and I. I don't think I'm even capable enough to actually love another person. Hence why I've revised my entire personality.

I'm pulled out of my thoughts when I hear my phone ring,

Sage is calling me. How great.

With a short pause I finally pick up the phone,

"Hello?" I answer with a slightly rude tone.

"Harry. Hi. I just wanted to make sure it was still okay picking up Tate. I know we briefly spoke about it yesterday but I need to double check with you."

"Yeah, I'm about to start heading out to the school to pick them up. Do you mind if I buy them happy meals?" I question her authority on the kids' lunch.

"Yeah that's fine, I'll pay you back for Tate's when I come over later today. Thank you, Harry."

"Sage," I responded with a frustrated tone, "Could you please stop with that shit? It's getting really old now. Our kids have been best friends since forever and you already know I don't mind treating Tate like my own. Fucking cut it out." I end the topic coldly. I didn't mean to snap at her, I mosty never do, she's just so frustrating when it comes to shit like this.

"Fine, just please make sure he's alright and let me know if anything happens. Bye."

She quickly hangs up the phone before I get the chance to assure her or say goodbye. I guess she has no time to argue with me today. Though, a small part of me wished she argued just so I could talk to her a bit more longer.

Something within me has definitely shifted since yesterday's events, and I definitely let it slip when I threw out 'my sweet Sage' in her face randomly. That moment hasn't stopped replaying in my head ever since. It's wrong, I know, but I just craved something and I'm not exactly sure what it is.

I shake off this odd feeling and go downstairs to leave for the kids. I make sure to grab the extra car seat in the garage for Tate, I bought him a Mickey Mouse themed car seat when Sage and I started making more playdate plans and such.