Can I Believe You || Sam Kiszka

Chapter 3

A/N: I Kind of got into my feels with this one. I've also struggled with depression and other mental health issues. You are not alone <3. Hope you enjoy this chapter :)

We've been drinking for the past three hours. I've had about five pints of beer, and to say I felt good was an understatement. Jake and Josh were on the table singing some sort of tune, while Sam was laughing his ass off at Danny, who fell from his chair. The pub had cleared out quite a bit, the only people left were the lonely drunks.

" I think I'm ready to call it a night." I said to the table.

The twins looked at me confused.

" Not until you get your plate." They both said

I saw the five empty pints and started giggling. I had never done anything like this before. Here I was drunk off my ass while not even three months ago a complete prude.(nothing wrong with that btw) Jake and Josh quickly lifted me off my seat and headed to the bar. The bartender was making a drink when Josh said.

" Hey there, pretty lady," winking as he spoke.

" What do you need, baby?" she asked sliding the drink to one of the customers.

" My good friend here has won a plate." He says in a posh accent while pushing me to the front.

I stood there awkwardly not knowing what to do. Sam being the hero he is brought up the five empty pints. She looks at them and nods, and goes into the back to grab the plate I had won. She handed me the green plate. Instantly the boys around me started cheering and hoisting me up like I was part of the royal family. They marched With me on their shoulders as we made it to the door. They put me down so we could make it out the door without me hitting my head. I'm a fairly tall girl, around 5'9". And I'm kind of average looking. Blonde hair, deep brown eyes, Stocky build.

We made our way to the street, the frigid air hitting my face as we walked. As I pulled my jacket closer to my body, trying to keep as much heat in, I felt an arm wrap around me. I looked up to see it was Danny giving me a sweet smile. He didn't have too much to drink, but still enjoyed himself.

" The others are too drunk to realize you were cold, especially since you're from New Orleans." he said sweetly.

I giggled looking back at the others' belly laughing at something Sam did. I then realized that I had never told them I was New Orleans.

" How did you know I'm from New Orleans?" I asked as we walked.

He blushed " Your accent is really strong you know"

I blushed nervously not realizing my accent. Obviously I didn't think I had an accent, I wondered if the others realized too.

Once we got back to the truck, Danny hopped into the driver's seat, since he drank the least. Sam jumped in the passenger's seat, leaving me with the twins. Jake had already gotten in leaving me to sit on Josh's lap. He had a looser grip on me than Sam did.

" Is this okay? I don't want to make you uncomfortable." He said

I appreciated his concern " It's okay, thanks for your concern" I gave him a kind smile.

As we drove I was thinking of my night with the boys, I haven't had this much fun in a while. Actually ever. I genuinely felt happy. I've struggled with mental health issues, for obvious reasons: My mom. It's hard growing up without a mom present. I would see other girls with their moms doing mom and daughter things. Even things as simple as getting their nails done or gossiping about boys. Those parts of my life I thought I was supposed to have never happened. I envied everyone who had a mom. Don't get me wrong I love my Dad, He has always been there for me, and gave me twice the love to make up for my moms. It just always felt like some part of me was missing and I blamed myself for my mom not being there.

I was pulled out of my head when I heard my favorite song play.

" Can you turn this song up?" I asked Danny

He nodded and turned up the dial to the perfect volume.

Me and Magdalena

We're driving south through Monterey

As the sun is slowly sinking

Into a distant ocean wave

And I don't know if I've ever loved any other

Half as much as I do in this light she's under

Tell me Magdalena

What do you see in the depths of your night?

Do you see a long lost father?

Does he hold you with the hands you remember as a child?

But know everything lost will be recovered

When you drift into the arms of the undiscovered

And I don't know if I've ever loved any other

Half as much as I do in this light she's under

Me and Magdalena

Always leaving early and sleeping late

Secluded in the canyon

Lost within a turn of fate

But know everything lost will be recovered

When you drift into the arms of the undiscovered

And I don't know if I've ever loved any other

Half as much as I do in this light she's under

My dad would play this song all the time when I was a kid. He said that he used to play this song to my mom when they were younger, because he had never felt as much love as he did for her, that was until I came around.

I felt the car slow as we pulled into the driveway. I gathered my things, and grabbed my plate. All the bodies started hurling out of the car impatiently. Jake was the first one to the door while Josh and I seemed to fall behind the group.

" Are you alright?" he asked

" yeah I'm fine, why do you ask?"

" In the car you got tense all of a sudden, I was just wondering if you were okay." He said holding onto my bicep.

" I'm okay, still kind of stressed about the move, you know" I lied

He turned seeming to realize that I didn't want to talk about it.

" Come one slow pokes it cold out here!" Sam slurred as he was being held up by Danny.

He had the most to drink, about eight pints. I wondered why he didn't get a plate. Jake told me it was because he was notorious for drinking that everytime he came he would get a plate. He's only seventeen and has five plates up.

Josh rattled the keys into the lock on the door letting us in. It was around midnight at this point, so I knew my Dad and Aunt were most likely asleep. The boys all rushed into the house, while I stayed near the entryway carefully taking off my coat and boots.

The boys all sat in the living room in different places. Sam was sprawled out on the floor, seeming to have passed out. Jake and Danny were talking on the couch.

" Where's Josh?" I asked

" In here." He called from behind me in the kitchen.

I walked into the small kitchen where Josh was standing near the stove. He was brewing tea waiting for the water to boil

" You want some?" He asked referring to the tea

" um... sure." I wasn't really in the mood, just being nice.

He looked down awkwardly then back up at me

" We need to talk."

Can I-I-I ever know your mind