The Torment of Existence Weighed Against the Horror of Nonbeing

The clouds were letting the water they had accumulated over the past few days out in a flood like manner. The wind accompanied the rain with howling strength; it was enough to knock down the strongest of foe. There were people rushing about everywhere in a hurry to get home to their lovely warm houses and be greeted by a warm fire and delicious homemade food. The smell of the rain was overwhelming even for a pluviophile but she breathed it in anyway; the smell calmed her down. A flurry of voices surrounded her but eventually they all united into one big buzz, now all she could hear were the voices in her head, looking down she saw how the rain was creating ripples in the water and how it was adding to the polluted river.

Her eyes followed an immense raindrop whose size exceeded all the rest on its journey into the abyssal water and saw the tiny splash it made as it collided with the water. Bending down she got onto all fours and put her right palm face down to feel the hard concrete of the bridge she was currently resting upon. It felt so hard and cold.

The wetness of it was dampening the glove currently placed on her hand. Taking it off she felt the water engulf her hand immediately. The coldness of the water challenged the temperature of her hand as it was still quite warm from the glove. Staying in the same position for a few moments, soon enough it felt as if they were one. Her hand was turning numb so she retracted it.

Sitting up and shutting her eyes the voices became more prominent, the rest of the noise was still continuing as static. "Jump...you're not welcome... you'll never belong in this world people just don't understand y- JUMP!"

Her eyes flew open; she was trying to ignore the voices but it wasn't working. The same word repeating over and over in her head going around and around and around, spinning, driving her insane, it was like a child's carousel. Only this time instead of little children screaming all she could hear were the demons inside her head howling at her, screeching she wasn't good enough. She would jump just to make them stop but she knew they wouldn't drown, her demons: they knew how to swim.

Grabbing her head and grimacing at the pain they were causing, she frantically looked around for help. Through the blur of people she saw a man was staring at her in the hubbub. He had a drenched black suit on and just stood there stoically watching her. His black hair was matted onto his face and the wind was whipping the tendrils of his fringe everywhere, yet, he continued to just stand and stare. Standing up straight she stared back. Ignoring the voices in her head she just stared.

Around them the number of people was slowly decreasing as their loved ones had come to pick up or they found shelter, either way they just wanted to get off the bridge before the cars arrived and started to pile up due to rush hour. Both could hear the cars starting to arrive, the roar of the engines were coming closer slowly but surely, yet they still refused to move or break eye contact.

He could see a beautiful young woman that was worn out by what seemed to be something in her head, but he couldn't work out what was wrong with her. He took a moment to study her. Dazzling emerald green eyes circled by dark hollow bags. White porcelain skin like a china doll, shoulder length black hair shining bright, accented by the rain. The cars were coming closer. The smell of exhaust fumes was filling the air. She took a moment to study him. Hazel coloured eyes. Pale skin. Short Black hair.

The cars were starting to come onto the bridge now. She took a step backwards to not get run over but still kept eye contact with this stranger. Slipping on a leaf she fell backwards over the railing.

In those seconds she felt like the raindrop she witnessed just moments before, the only difference: she was a tiny girl who made a big splash.