The Fake Fan | Nom |

Chapter Eleven ➳ Nathan

Chapter Eleven:

 ➳

Nathan's POV:

To say that I was shocked would be an understatement, it was really unexpectant of Tom appearing here today. I thought that he would have forgotten all about me by now - rightfully so, I was a dick to him. Stuttering, I let him in the house. I couldn't have been more cumbersome if I tried, I just kept my eyes on my sock clad feet, hiding my embarrassment. Thankfully, I was home alone. 

I led Tom to where the living room is, too awkward to take him where my bedroom is. 

"So, uh..." I trailed off awkwardly, initiating a conversation and hoping that Tom would take over. He seemed like he had a lot to say whilst I didn't have much to say at the minute; I had been stunned into silence. 

Was he really here? 

"Why?" He began, his voice held no particular emotion in it, I would have said that it was monotone but he sounded assertive, angry. 

I opened my mouth but no sound came out. I wasn't sure what to say, how to begin, without sounding like even more of an idiot that I had proved myself to be the other night. I was drunk and upset, those two don't mix well. Of course, it didn't correct what I had said but it was still the truth. 

"I'm sorry." I finally settled for. 

"Yeah, you've already said that." He flailed his arms a bit as his voice increased in volume. 

I huffed. What was I supposed to do now?

"Well I am sorry! No, don't cut me off-- It's the truth, I am truly sorry. I wish I could take it back, deleting it won't help I suppose the whole fandom has seen it by now. I don't know what took over me, but I regret it." 

Tom stayed quiet, staring at me, analysing me. I felt like I was being sized up, I didn't like it but I didn't comment. I assumed he was trying to tell if I was telling the truth or not. 

"Why did you sleep with me, knowing full well who I was, you still had sex with me - and don't blame it on the alcohol, I was drunk too but when I am drunk I never do anything as spiteful as what you did." Tom snapped and I flinched. I didn't like it when people raised their voices at me, it terrified me. 

I may be eighteen years old but being shouted at still scared me. It reminded me of my dad... that's going off on a tangent, I need to think about the now-- about Tom Parker whom was stood a metre away from me. 

"Did you do it for kicks? You got the pleasure of sleeping with someone who was famous, huh, is that what you wanted?" 

I feverently shook my head. "No! Of course not!" I yelled. 

Tom was almost snarling now. "Yes it was, don't lie to me!" 

I felt like a child; I felt belittled. It was bringing back repressed memories from my broken past and I hated it. Feeling like shit wasn't what I had planned but I had only been awake for nearly three hours now and I have been feeling depressed ever since. 

"I thought you wanted to talk." I spoke calmly and Tom froze, confused. 

"We are?" He spoke, unsure. 

"No, you are shouting at me and putting me down. You are making me sound like a slut and I don't like it so if you going to tell me that I am a horrible person then please save your breath. I already now that obvious fact." I fumed but I then breathed in and spoke normally, as if all the anger was removed as I exhaled the carbon dioxide. "I didn't do it for kicks, I was sexually frustrated and you seemed more than willing and you're... hot." I averted my gaze from his, I was back to looking at my shoes and my cheeks were tinged pink in humiliation. 

"But I had some sort of epiphany, I realised that I had no real reason to hate you. You were actually nice - you all are! It's just I'm broken and I fuck up. I was jealous of my sister's love for you guys. My family don't give me a lot of attention, I'm always elbowed out of the picture and I was jealous that even my own sister was slipping away from me."

I hadn't realised that I was crying until I noticed Tom's shoes were less than an inch from my own and he pinched my chin between his index and thumb and I was looking at his face that was filled with sympathy. He wiped away the tears that slowly rolled down my face and I let out a choked sob. 

"I just wanted to feel some love, for one night." I cried. "Just one night! Is that too much for ask for?" 

Tom had let go of my chin and had pulled me into his arms. He wrapped his arms around my neck and whispered calming things in my ear as he played with the hair at the back of my neck and I returned the hug and just broke down; sobbing into his shirt, snot and tears were drenching his plain black shirt; at this moment in time neither of us cared. 

My voice was muffled by the fabric of his clothing but I mumbled another apology, hoping he finally understood how sorry I really was. 

There was a silence for a couple of minutes, the only sound that filmed the living room was me sniffing and Tom shushing me every now and again. But then he spoke up, breaking up the comfortable silence:

"You're forgiven."

* * *

Hello everyone, 

I want to apologise for my behaviour on this blog, it's disgraceful and now I am honestly embarrassed by myself and my past actions. I was stupid and deserved to be punched in the face. But that's in the past.

I deeply regret what I did but there's nothing I can do about it now. 

I have apologised to Tom in person and he's forgiven me, so please try to forgive me. I promsie there will be no more hostile comments coming from me about the wanted anymore. To be honest I have decided to deactivate this account a few hours I post this to give you all a chance to see this message. 

I could go on and on about how sorry I am but sadly tumblr won't let me type that much. 

I was jealous for reasons I won't dwell on too much as they are personal and although this may sound like an excuse it's not: it is the complete truth. I was a horrible, hateful person and I feel like I have matured and I want to wipe the slate clean and move on from my immaturity and naïvity. 

Please believe me when I say this: I am sincerely regretful about all of this and I apologise. 

Bye forever. 

And two hours later, theunwanted was no longer. 

-

I have the next ten chapters all plotted out and I am excited to post them once they are ready, I really like the plot line to what is yet to come: it's exciting!!

I won't go into too much detail though ;) I like being mysterious. 

sO I AM SEEING NATHAN ON SUNDAY FUCK I AM SO ELATED SCREAM WITH ME GUYS!! I am going to wait outside the venue at about 10am in hopes of meeting him and idc if it is forecasted to rain I will be ther come rain, sun or hail for my baby boy. 

As I will be waiting for around 9 hours I will obviously get bored so I will bring my ipad with me and I will (hopefully) write a chapter and get it updated for you, if it allows me. If not, I will definitely have it all written up ahead of the day after which I will then post it but I will try my best to update on Sunday for you guys! 

I have been listening to pocket full of sunshine for the past week, pls send help. Easy A always gets me addicted to that song lol. 

I tend to ramble a lot on my author's note, does anybody even read them? 

- Talia x