Akin to Gods

chapter three

a week had passed by since ragnar's unpredicted return to kattegat. he had yet to come see floki, and as far as you knew, he was currently in hedeby - searching for anyone who would agree to sail west to england with him. you knew that he was supposed to return today, and it made you more anxious. something about ragnar's return left a pit in your stomach.

in the few days since his return arrival, your work load had tripled. between the preparations to sail to the mediterranean with bjorn and the hustle and hubbub that came when people learned that ragnar was back, you'd found yourself spread thin. asked to do so many tasks here and there for the people of kattegat - things they didn't want to bother bjorn or aslaug with in this time - and so because of your constant workload paired with the anxiety that ragnar's return brought, you'd barely slept and you hadn't seen any of ragnar's sons since hvitserk's arrival on the beach.

as it was now, you were currently awake early in the morning - the sun had risen only a short time ago and as soon as it had, you'd made your way into the little clearing where the ragnarsson's trained. you knew that your friendship to them and the respect that people had for you meant that no one would stop you from training in their space and it wasn't like you weren't used to using it as your own anyways.

having let loose an entire quiver of arrows against a target that was crudely made from a boar's head, you went to gather them back up. your mind swirled with thoughts as you tugged each arrow free and so you were unaware of the fact that you were no longer alone until, just as you wrenched the last arrow out of place, an ax came flying through the air and hit the target centimeters from your face. you didn't even need to turn around to know who would have the self confidence to make such a throw, believing they could and would hit the target without hurting you. pulling the ax free, you turned to look at ivar who now sat on the tree stump he usually used as a seat when here with his brothers.

"you could have hit me," you scold, pointing the ax at him for a moment before closing the distance and handing it back to him. with how early in the morning it was, he must have been here to look for you.

taking the ax out of your hand, ivar shrugs. "when have i ever hit you, hm? do you not trust me?" the questions are given with a little pout and you only shake your head in response. he gives you a small smile but it fades all too quickly and you wonder if he's still upset about his father's return.

you know better than to try and pry into his emotions however. it was a surefire way to have ivar throwing a rage-fit. there were times when his emotions were so delicate that the simplest thing could be seen as a slight against him. it was easier to let him decide to talk if he wanted. so instead of asking him how he felt, you nocked an arrow and turned back to the target.

as soon as you'd let the arrow fly, he spoke. "fenrir, are there ways to pleasure a woman without a cock?" the question was unpredictable and took you off guard with surprise. "you've slept with women and you don't have a cock."

he wasn't wrong. you had slept with more women than men, it was just your personal preference. "any man who thinks that the only way to pleasure a woman is with his cock, has probably never pleasured a woman," comes your reply.

he seems to fidget, becoming unsure and afraid under your scrutiny. you'd never seen ivar like this before and paired with the conversation, you weren't sure what to think.

a moment passes before he talks again, voice low even though you're the only two in the clearing. "i wanted to sleep with margrethe," he admits softly, his hands clenching his ax so tight that his knuckles had gone white. ivar refused to look you in the eyes, opting to stare at his lap.

"who the fuck is margrethe?" you ask, and truthfully you really didn't know. the idea that some girl had wormed her way so close to ivar that he wanted to be intimate with her had shocked you. especially since ivar had said nothing of this before.