I'll Go On

I'll Go On Part 3

You ran as fast as you could to your quarters, you hoped you heard wrong. Severus Snape is a loyal man, a man who loved you, a-a man whose heart you supposedly held. You were wheezing, making it impossible to take a deep breath. Just then Minerva ran into your room. She saw you balling and running to your quarters. She tried to calm you down to the best of her ability. She became furious the moment she heard the reason behind your tears.

When you were able to breathe again Minnie explained how Lily had survived her deadly fate due to a necklace Severus charmed and gave to her years ago. Apparently Lily wore it all of the time, even up to the day of her 'death.' James didn't have the necklace; therefore, he died and she went into hiding to keep herself and her son safe. Lily figured she was hiding long enough, she called upon Harry to come and find her. And that he did. Now it was you who despised Harry Potter.

"Minnie... I hate him!" You cried out, referring to Severus.

"You need to speak to him, dear. It's been a long twenty-four hours. Maybe you didn't hear correctly- Severus would never do such a thing. He loves you so-"

You cut her off, crying again, "But does he love me enough? I am not Lily, I never have been!"

"Please, request to have a conversation with him." She wiped your teary eyes.

You nodded and prepared yourself for your next round of classes, taking a potion to bring you some peace throughout the day. While your last class of the day was taking a quiz you began to sort through your feelings. You made up your mind, based on Sev's answers and emotions you knew what you would need to do. You will either stay together and work through this misunderstanding or if they really did kiss... you would have to move on. You could never handle being his second choice, living in the shadow of Lily.

It was time for dinner and you decided against going to the Great Hall. You weren't quite ready to see Severus. Speaking of which, Severus hadn't really thought about you in the past twenty-four hours leading up till now. Where were you he wondered but then he spotted Lily walking in, taking your seat at the Professor's table. You slipped his mind yet again. He began to think how fortunate he was to have been given this rare second chance.

Minerva could hear the students' concerns. They had all loved you and Severus together. You brought out the best in him and the students adored how maternal and helpful you were. Seeing their Professor swoon for someone else was hurtful for them as well.

The hour passed and you sent an owl to Severus, requesting for him to meet you in your class at once. It sounded stern but you didn't care. You've been waiting to see or hear from him all day. Word got through to you that Lily had even taken your spot at the table tonight. Your heart couldn't take much more hurt.

You were waiting in your classroom, your foot tapping on the floor. You took a deep breath as your door creaked open.

"Y/n, you asked to see me? Darling, you could've just come to our quarters, you know?" Severus chuckled, walking closer to you and smelling like another woman's perfume.

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, "It is not our quarters, Severus. I just spent most of my time there... We need to talk."

He cleared his throat and nodded, "I don't want you to worry about Lily. She-"

You stood up from your chair and leaned on the front of your desk. "Why would I worry? Would I worry because you didn't show up for our date last night? Would I worry because she took my seat at the table tonight? O-or would I worry because you didn't tell her you were in a committed relationship? Maybe I would worry if you kissed her o-or perhaps did something more. But you didn't... right? I shouldn't be worried because you told me that you let her go."

You were holding your breath waiting for him to laugh, cup your cheek, and tell you how he would never dream of even looking at another woman. Your heart tore in half when he looked down at the ground and avoided your sad eyes.

"H-how do you know?"

A single tear fell off of your jawline, "That's what you ask me, that's what you say?" You let out a shaky breath once again, "this afternoon I absolutely hated you... you managed to break me in a matter of hours. But I don't actually hate you and I don't blame you. If I were in your position I wouldn't know what to do. I'd give myself more than twenty-four hours but I understand h-how strange this is. I can't make you love me as I love you. I won't try to. So, I'll carry our wonderful memories with me always and I'll go on with or without you. You have a chance with her, go, take it."

He looked at you with bewilderment, you weren't yelling and your eyes stopped watering. You were serious. You knew how he was feeling without him getting a word in. That in itself was heartbreaking. That's how well you knew him, you could read him so easily. He felt guilty for his actions with Lily throughout the day but he couldn't have fathomed doing anything less. Lily had bewitched him.

"If you want me to live my life without you... then you've got your wish, Darling."

Severus stood up straight, feeling sad but defensive at the same time, "do you really think that's how I feel?"

You walked towards Severus, kissing his cheek before you left, "Actions speak louder than words."