Beyond the Universe

Heartworm

"Love is the definition of pain,
and pain is the definition of love.
My heart was torn into pieces,
torn by an unknown thing.
I thought you were Enyo for a second because you became
the muse of destruction.
You ruined me."

Good day, I am Earth
and I hate me.
Most of the planets here
in the solar system are very much envious of me,
they respected me
While I look at myself as a
pitiful and the lonely planet;
It is all because of her.

All because of my Helios.
I let her ruin me,
maybe for the better?
or maybe for the worse.

Even before the discovery of every planet, we were
together.
We were together even
if we are way too far from
each other.

We use telepathy to communicate
and we both thought that clairvoyance was enough
for us to stay together,
but I was wrong.

It was all just a mere thought– an expectation, for us to
remain all the same.
Sol and Helios are different,
their names are the same but
not them.

Sol is my current sun,
and helios was...
never my sun.

You were my Helios,
you used to be my Helios,
I never thought that
a beautiful sun like you
would be satan's pawn
and bring hell with you
just to burn my heart
into ashes.

You could've just done
it more nicely, a nicer way
where I could never burn:
where I could never
overlook hell and never
see you put me in all
terrible circumstances
with a smile on your face.

In spite of everything...
I am still here, standing and enduring, not giving
a single fuck for the fact
she's not here to warm me up.
But I have been waiting for years, 3.26 light-years precisely.

A fool and imbecile like me
does not deserve to live.
I was aware of what was
happening and yet,
I ignored everything
that was obviously hurting me.

The love made me blind,
the love made me numb.
It ruined every piece of
my heart.

All I cared about was Helios,
My world revolved around her even if she was never here.

Sol...She was there for me,
she came to me.
She came to me knowing that
I will cease to exist without
any hint of warmth in me.

While you are there,
parcels away from me
with the other undiscovered suns, hiding like a coward.

But I think that's fine.
It's better you are away,
much better because
I know that if I have too many suns and warmth to receive
I might die
and...break down.

I already experienced
the death and breaking down because of my people
and because of you
but I don't want that to
happen again.

That's why it's all right to hide,
you don't have to hide for me anymore.
Because from now on,
I will cut my connections
with you and focus more
on myself.

I'll try it out with Sol too,
because having a chronic
heartworm just by the
thought of you is
slowly driving
me and my people insane.

I realized a lot of things
and one of it is that things
are supposed to go this way.

Your warmth is not for me.
Moreover, revolving
around you is not my
destined commission
to begin with.

The Universe was just
up there, laughing at how
stupid we are because
in the first place,
they were never certain
about us and so were you.

In the first place,
Our fate was to fall apart,
away from each other,
and away from the pain of knowing that we can't
love each other the way
the rest of them in this
enigmatic society can.