Lonely Nights // H.S

6.

'If I choke, it's only cause I'm scared to be alone'

*

Unknown number

[11:48] Hiya. This is Willow, right?

Willow

[12:01] Yes... Who's this?

Unknown number

[12:01] It's Dan.

Willow

[12:03] Who's Dan?

Unknown number

[12:04] From Prue's party. Daniel.

Willow

[12:06] Oh shit! Sorry!

[12:08] How did you get my number?

Dan

[12:10] Prue.

That's how it started. A few random texts throughout the day, only responding to them between clients. He asked me how I am, about my day, more about my life. I asked him the same, because in truth I didn't find out much from that party, much too concerned with not making a fool of myself and the way Harry looked or spoke. Ridiculous really, probably painfully obvious how obsessed I became throughout that evening, but somehow, this Daniel bloke seems to not care.

For the past week, we've been texting every day. Morning, noon, and night. And to my surprise, I'm enjoying it. Rather than shying away, continuing to reapply the glue that keeps me close to Riley and Harry, I've chosen to peel away some of those layers and look elsewhere. Allowed myself to breathe new air, something that is my own.

The two of them have already done that. They started moving on with their lives long ago, mostly on account of their age, but also because they have never been quite as scared to spread their wings as I have. Even with his own fears, Harry found a way to overcome them, but for a reason still unknown to me, the idea of not having them to hold onto, not having them to guide me or allow me to wait in their shadows, it terrified me.

But I suppose that's not how things work, no matter how much you want them to. You can beg and kick and scream, yell about your deepest desires or gravest fears, but life doesn't stop moving for anyone. It's fast and hectic and often leaves you little room to catch your breath or even process something, but you have to run with it, or you'll get left behind. And I really don't want to be left behind.

I haven't told anyone, not that I have many people to tell. Maybe Lena, but I can't be sure that she wouldn't tell my brother. Both he and Harry would cause a scene the way they always have when I've mentioned a boy, taking on the protective role beyond what's expected. Besides, I'm not sure what is even happening with Dan, whether I want it to be something or not. There's no point in indulging details if there aren't any.

Our first date is in the week, though. He seems to be busy most weekends, while I am never, but he's lucky most of my evenings are spent with few plans, too. After work on Wednesday, I'll be going into the city, meeting him for conversational drinks and maybe dinner if I care to stick around long enough.

I haven't been on a date in so long I'm sure I've forgotten how they even play out. What are the rules of conversation, dress, smiling, kissing? Do I bring him home? Do I leave him wanting more? What if I hate it?

Stupid questions, really, because I'll likely never have to see him again if it goes poorly, maybe only at Prue and Harry's wedding, something I still haven't entirely wrapped my head around. And it's not because of those absurd thoughts I started having last week, not because I thought about his hands and his neck and his body and his lips. God, those lips.No.