i'm so sorry

.01

featuring one of the many screenshots that made me do this. thanks, guys.

it was your typical but lovely day in the mushroom kingdom. birds were singing, flowers were blooming... on days like these, people like you, should have something better to do than read this monstrosity. whyareyouherehowdyougetherepleaseleavebeforeitstoolate. anyways, it would've been your day off, but you had to be working at your dead end job at the pub. duty calls! it was a cosy little place where toads, toadettes, other creatures and humans alike were chowing down or drinking their sorrows away. probably both. you didn't blame them. you let out a hefty sigh and continued to clean the glass you've been cleaning for the past half hour because why not, a look of pure boredom spread upon your face. the sound of the bell ringing brought you back to reality, looking up with a smile to greet the new customer. before you was a man who seemed quite familiar; dressed in red and blue plumber like clothing and a hat placed upon his head that had a simple m sowed on it. you choked on air when you realized who the man actually was. it was the mario brother! only the most handsome, herosome and popular man in the entire kingdom. aside from his brother of course. not only had he permanently defeated the evil lizard king bowser, he had saved his girlfriend princess peach from the monster countless of times. more over a million times to be exact. wtf is up with that?... you watched as the man waltzed in and towards your direction, placing his fat juicy ass upon the stool of the bar. he looked up and give you a flirty wink, his toothy grin making you melt on the spot. "one spaghetti and meat ball, please. extra meaty extra balls,," he drawled out, checkin out the hot babe before him. you had to windows restart before shaking yourself outta shock and nod, scrambling to the chef to give his order. you took a small breather before hesitantly making your way back to the handsome hunk and offer him an award winning smile. "anything else i can get you hot stuff?" wait, yOU SHOULDN'T BE TRYNA FLIRT WITH THIS GUY YOU WHORE, HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND ⁉️⁉️ though before you can apologize, he responds back with an equally flirty reply. "a lil meetin with you later, if you don't mind sugar?" he muses, enjoying the interaction a lot more than he should. so he's a dirty lil cheater huh? you think you can dig that.. after all, this would be the only chance to have a one nighty with the most well known guy in the kingdom. you'd be insane to pass this up. wellnotactuallybutshh- after all, if he's out here whoring it up, his lovely peach probably isn't that good in the sheets. or he's just a plain out ass hat who doesn't care about breaking hearts. whatever. you were gonna show him a REALLY good time :]. "i get off in an hour baby.. if you'd like, we could chat until i close up?" you asked, grabbing his food from the chef and serving it to him. he smirked and nodded, digging into the food immediately after it was put down like the hot pig he is gawddamn-

//TIME SKIP CAUSE IM TOO LAZY FOR THIS

it was finally closing time and everyone was gone besides you and mario. you both were chatting about everything and anything and just having a good time while you wiped down the tables and cleaned up the place. after a while you decided to take a break and set yourself onto the bar counter, mario taking his place into the stool in front of you. "i was thinking sugar.. how's about we spice things up and throw down here, eh?" he muttered out, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling your face close to his, until it was just your noses touching. you shuddered in excitement and arousel and nodded, breaking the distance by grabbing his cheeks and pulling him into a heated kiss. which basically turned into a whole ass make out session. the worry of getting caught turned you both on and the grinding of the body's were turning y'all into beasts. until you decide to break the sexual tension and strip down to your socks, before getting on your knees and slowly taking off mario's pants. your breath hitched as you saw how fucking MASSIVE this guy was. like holy shit, guy is packing a huge shlong. shmeat this big is a fucking hazard like omg- this would tear out your insides out no joke lik- anyways, you hesitantly start licking his tip, making him moan like a little bitch. you bite down on his dick and tear it off, end of story.

joking. i think. anyways, you continue sucking this mf dry, his groans and grunts filling you up with ecstasy. he suddenly grabs a chunk full of your hair and lifts your face up to his eye level, watching you lick your lips and smirk flirtatiously. he sent you a smirk back and turned you around, pressing your body onto the counter and god okay end of story i can no longer do this lmao goodbye