One and Done: A Collection of One-Shots

Wait... What?

-Melissa-

I growled in annoyance at the incessant pounding on my apartment door. I tried to ignore it but apparently whoever it was decided to keep at it until I answered, or they beat a damn hole in it.

I heaved it open quickly and snapped, "What?"

Standing in my hallway was my best friend Davis. He looked like he had seen a ghost with his hand was poised to knock again.

"Mel, you are NOT going to believe what the fuck just happened to me," he said as he pushed his way into my apartment.

I rolled my eyes. Sometimes Davis was a bit more of a drama queen then those mean bitches from high school. I've known Davis since freshman year in college. He was a big shot lacrosse player and an accounting major. We met when I was rushing a sorority.

Well I suppose met is a loose word. One of my hazing events required us to run naked across the lacrosse field during practice. I turned to check on one of my girlfriends running behind me and ended up running right into Davis.

He made a cheesy joke about buying him dinner first then took off his jersey for me to cover up. When he tracked me down the next day, I thought he was going to ask me out. But the actual date invite never happened.

I suppose I could have asked him myself but by the time I realized he wasn't going to ask me we were really good friends. I didn't have many of those, so I decided not to chance it.

Now here we are ten years later.

Davis started to pace and sighed as he ran his hand through his sandy hair.

"If I EVER tell you I'm taking a girl out from that stupid app again," he said, "stop me!"

He pushed the sleeves of his dress shirt up to his elbows showing off those strong forearms effectively distracting me from commenting. He took my silence as an opening to continue.

"Her name was Bethany," He began, "sounds sweet and simple right? NOPE! nu uh no way! She was fucking psychotic Mel."

As he continues, he starts talking with his hands. It's a trait I've always teased him about but found really adorable.

"So, I get there right and she's already waiting. I think, sweet! I like a punctual chick. She looks just like her picture again, another bonus. We get to talking about work and order drinks. I tell her a little about me until the waiter comes back."

"Hey, um Dave," I try to interrupt.

"Now, this is where it gets a little odd," he said them paused to make sure I was paying attention. "She asked the waiter to bring her a plate of water. A PLATE OF WATER. The waiter looks at me and I shrug my shoulders. He leaves and she starts talking about her.

"She's a yoga instructor, which I already knew, But then she started talking about auras and chakra's like what the fuck!"

"Davis," I tried again.

"Oh! that's not even the best of it. Melissa this woman took every single one of my pictures off of my profile. She photoshopped us on vacations! SHE TOOK OUR PICTURES AND MORPHED THEM INTO FREAKY BABIES! Like if we were to get down and dirty and have children they would look like demonic freak shows!"

A throat clearing behind him stopped his feet. Davis spun around to face the interruption.

Calvin Lowell fidgeted by my living room couch. He was from the I.T. department at my work and we had been out on a few dates.

"Should I um," he pushed his glasses up his nose. "Should I go?"

Davis spun back around to look at me. He pointed behind him with his thumb and asked, "Who's the nerd?"