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Napasinghot ako. Hindi ko talaga paborito ang malamig na panahon, and yet one of my favorite things to do is to hang out on our rooftop at late hours. I caressed my arms, trying to warm myself as I leaned on the railings. I was wearing a jacket to keep myself warm, and yet my hands took pleasure at the cold surface of the steel railings.
Mabuti nga at hindi umuulan, Usually ay maulan pag buwan na ng nobyembre. For some reason, this night was spared. The night sky was in full view with just a few clouds passing above.
I pressed my hands together trying to get rid of the chill, when another hand held my right hand. His hands were comforting.
Tumingin ako sa kaniya at binigyan siya ng isang malumay na ngiti. Hindi iyon nawala kahit na hindi siya ngumiti pabalik.
He and I have been together for 3 years. Kung iisipin, matagal na panahon na rin yun kung ikukumpara sa mga usual na relationships na ilang buwan lang nagtatagal. Not to mention, our relationship isn't exactly what other closeminded people would call normal.
I returned my gaze on the starlit skies, he didnt returned my smile but he didnt removed his gaze from me either. We usually spend our nights here, talking about random stuff and sometimes, staring silently at the sky. Ang tanging maririnig ay ang pagihip ng malamig na hangin.
Our silent but very heartfilled sweet moments. Our Silent Nights.
Tonight was different. How?
Well for one, medyo maingay sa ibaba. May kasiyahan kasi sa bahay namin ngayon, birthday ng kapatid ko which is barkada ko rin. Rinig ko ang sintunadong pagkanta ng kaibigan kong si Aila sa Akin ka nalang ni Morissette.
Gusto kong matawa, but even a funny moment of my friend embarassing herself wouldn't distract me from the silent but meaningful stare from my boyfriend beside me. Magiisang oras na kami dito sa taas peru wala pa ring bumabasag ng katahimikan sa aming dalawa.
We just stayed quiet, enjoying the silence between us.
He broke the silence.
Lumingon ako sa kaniya nang binaggit niya ang pangalan ko. He never calls me by my full name.
I smiled at him. "Oh?"
Humigpit ang hawak niya sa kamay ko.
He looked at me with solemn eyes, the silence was very different and awkward, yet I still smiled.
"I'm sorry..." He bowed his head, bringing my hands to his lips. I pursed my lips as I anticipated what he was about to say next.
I waited, but he didnt say anything else.
Hindi niya kaya.
Napailing ako. I cupped his face, I leaned my head towards his, our foreheads touched as I closed my eyes. I know he was staring at me.
"Gusto mo nang makipaghiwalay."
I opened my eyes and his eyes. It was full of fear, uncertainty, sadness, regret. When did those eyes changed?
I smiled. "right?"
Hindi siya nakasagot. Yumuko lang siya at mas hinigpitan ang hawak sa mga kamay ko. Hindi rin naman niya tinanggi.
"Hey..." I held his face to meet my gaze. "It's okay..."
There were tears brimming at the corners of his eyes. I chuckled, I felt a flash of pain in my chest. It was brief, but damn did it made my knees buck.
"I'm the one being dumped peru ikaw yung naiiyak. Bobo ka ba?" biro ka.
"I'm really sorry..."
Napangiti lang ako. Kung siguro nandito si Tara, sasabihin nung pinaplastik ko ang mga ngiti ko. Inilibot ko ang mga mata ko sa rooftop, that slow scan was like a brief flashback to every memories we have. "Isnt it Ironic? This is the place where we become a couple at dito rin tayo naghiwalay."
