BURN OUT - niko vilhelm

VI. figuring me out

It didn't take too long for us to finish the drinks Niko has brought us and I could already feel the dizziness when he pointed out that I was getting a little drunk.
"Wow you speak a lot when you drink." He laughed. He was right I'm normally not a very talkative person but as soon as there's alcohol in my system I can't seem to shut up so I laughed with him at myself.
"Right, now let's talk about you, let's get to know each other a little." I said changing the subject. "Think about what you're going to say, I'll be right back." I stood up leaving him behind. I went to the bar and ordered the same amount of drinks Niko did a while ago. Somehow I managed to take them to the table without spilling any of them. "So? Who are you?" I asked as I sat down next to him. I was sitting in front of him before but I thought he might like it if I choose his side this time.
"Well my full name is Niko Vilhelm Moilanen, I'm 27 and currently I'm a singer in a band." I was a little surprised because he looked a bit younger but I didn't let him see that on my face.
"What kind of band?" I interrupted him before he could continue.
"Blind Channel. We make violent pop music." He smiled and pointed at his hoodie so I guessed that he was wearing their merch. He talked about music for a couple of minutes and I could see the passion in his eyes. I love seeing people being passionate about their hobbies or job. God I miss being this intense about something. I nodded sometimes at what he said but I didn't say anything I just listened, he said some really interesting facts. He told me that last year they represented Finland in the Eurovision song contest. I don't know how I've never heard of them then. I mean I try to ignore the media as much as I can. I never watch tv and don't read news portals, I basically use my phone for Spotify and Netflix only. "Now that we're going to hang out a lot you should come to one of our concerts if you want." I got lost in my thoughts for a second and his last word have brought me back. Honestly I'm a little scared of going to their concert because I don't know the other guys and I don't know any of their music and It would be so awkward to just stand there like an idiot but I would be crazy if I said no to free concert tickets so I nodded.
"Let's talk about you now. I have to fall in love,not you." His smile was so pure and honest but he was wrong if he thought that I was able to fall for anybody. I got my heart broken so many times that I learned to control my feelings, plus I don't have much time on this planet anymore so I don't want to waste my time on something so fragile.
"I'm 22 and I'm not in a band." I said jokingly but honestly I had no idea what to say. I'm not an interesting person at all. " I don't know what to say. Ask me something and I'll answer.
"What's your dream Ansa?" He asked after thinking for a while and placed his hands on the table. We were sitting pretty close to each other but not close enough to look like a couple.
"I don't dream. Dreaming is a waste of time and it's basically just lying to yourself and making promises which are probably never going to happen." I said leaning dangerously close towards Niko so I could reach the glass on his side of the table. I could almost feel his breath on my neck, that's how close I was to him. I always get a little flirty when I drink but I trusted myself and I knew I wouldn't do anything I would regret.
"God, who broke you?" He whispered into my ears in a very soft voice. He sounded like he was feeling sorry for me but I didn't understand why.
"I'm not broken." I took a shot and placed the empty glass on the table. I don't enjoy him thinking that I am broken because I'm not I just have a weird opinion about everything. He looked at me and I could tell that he wanted to say something like "Well, I don't know about that.." by the face impression he made.
"What do you want in life then?" He changed his question which sounded a little more appealing.
"I just want to have fun. Try as many things as I can before I die and I don't want to regret not doing something I wanted to." He seemed like he liked this answer better than the previous one.
"You're an interesting person. I want to know your story." He said while taking off his hoodie with a single move.
"What story?" I asked looking at him confused.
"Everyone has a story that led them to where they are right now. I wonder what happened to you in the past that made you like this." As he said that I felt my heart beating a lot faster than it did before. My past and what happened to me is non of his business, he's a complete stranger and I'm not going to tell him about my personal life so he can analyse me.
"You're not Sherlock Holmes so stop trying to figure me out. Just because I'm living a pathetic life now that doesn't mean something tragic has happened to me." I said while raising my voice. I stood up and picked up my jacket from the chair. I wasn't angry, more like annoyed so I decided to go home, it was getting late anyways. As I tried to walk away without saying goodbye he stood up and stopped me.
"I didn't say you lived a pathetic life or something tragic has happened to you either. I didn't mean to upset you I'm sorry. I'm just curious, I want to know everything about you but if that makes you uncomfortable I won't bring it up again, sorry." I could tell he did feel bad, maybe I just overreacted and it was an innocent question. Now I felt like the bad guy.
"It's okay." I looked at my shoes while saying that. "It's getting late though, we should call it a night. He nodded and went back to the table to get his stuff.
"When will I see you again?" He asked as we were walking out of the pub.
"Call me." I turned away from him and started walking home. I wanted to look back to see if he's still there but I didn't want him to notice, so I didn't. 
Hanging out with Niko was not as bad as I thought. He's funny, has many stories and he's a gentleman so far. I'm a little worried though that it's just an act and he's hiding his real violent, psycho self and waiting for the perfect occasion to rape me or something. But why would he spend so much time and money on that when he could've do it that night at the club where we met? Well I guess  that's exactly what psychopaths do. I quickly changed the topic in my head because I don't wanted to worry or make assumptions.