Wretched little beggar

Back To Hogwarts... eventually

About half an hour after M boarded the train, families began arriving at the station. Soon enough, it was bustling with families. She recognized a few faces, but the crowd was so dense she could hardly see. A feeling of unease filled her at the sight of the happy families hugging their kids before sending them to the train. She couldn't place her finger on what it was though, because it certainly wasn't jealousy... Was it? It couldn't be, she reasoned.

She'd learnt the hard way that attachment and care only brought pain. She steeled herself for that thought. And anyway, now that she had her... monthly furry problems, nobody would even want to be near her if they found out, and that only drived the gap between her and the rest of the students further.

The young girl stared at her hands, poking out of the long sleeves of her leather jacket. Despite the new clothes Mara had gotten her, she hadn't been able to let go of that one. Would anyone be able to tell what had happened over the summer by looking at her? She was maybe a bit paler from lack of sleep, and had gained quite a few new scars, especially from her fight with the werewolf, but no one would probably care about her enough to notice. Her short hair shouldn't be too much of a problem either. What'd be harder to explain, though, was why she'd disappear once a month, especially to her teachers. Anyone with two good brain cells would be able to put the pieces together.

And how was she supposed to get Wolfsbane at Hogwarts? By sneaking every night to Hogsmeade and hope Mara could provide the potion for her? She'd done the research on it at Tomes and Scrolls, and the ingredients were not cheap, so counting on the expecting mother to give it to her every month was maybe a bit of a stretch. Plus, the full moon was barely ten days away, meaning she'd have to find a solution quickly.

She suddenly felt overwhelmed by it all. How had she, the homeless London orphan who'd survived by picking pockets, gotten here, in this strange world where nothing was familiar and everything was possible? She was a monster now, and would continue to be so for the rest of her life, with no possible cure. Every full moon, without exceptions, she'd have to transform. How could she live like that?

Thankfully, her compartment door opened, pulling her from her spiraling train of thoughts. Sadly, it also meant a bunch of gingers swarming her compartment.

She glanced at them quickly. Seemed like the Weasley clan had gained yet another member. A small girl, as freckled and red haired as her siblings. The twins were pushing her around playfully, trying to make her laugh, but the eleven years old still seemed nervous. The oldest, Percy, finally noticed M.

-"Do you mind if we sit here? I'm mean, I've got prefect duties and won't be stayi-"

M cut him off with a sigh as she stood up, grabbed her luggage and left the compartment. Yes, she did mind. But she didn't want to draw attention to herself and if she said no to them, others would continue asking anyway. She walked down the train, looking for another compartment, but everywhere else was full. The end of the train was approaching, and it came as evidence that she wouldn't be able to sit.

Suddenly, someone bumped into her, making her drop her luggage. She turned towards them, glaring. And fell eye to eye with a flustered looking Hermione.

-"I'm so sorry! I wasn't looking, let me get that for you!"

She bent down to grab the suitcase, and M could only stand there awkwardly while she did it. And though she looked completely laid back, if annoyed, her brain was whiring. She needed to get away from here, and fast. She'd allowed herself to get far too close to the girl the previous year.

It was dangerous - not only because it broke all her precepts, and that caring for someone was a stupid and weak thing to do, but also because now she could hurt Hermione. And the girl was far too smart for her own good, and would find out about her condition far too easily. Then everyone would know, and what would happen next?