Their Banished Queen

Prologue

I clench my teeth together as I bounce Morgan on my hip. "Come on," I coo. "Don't you ever stop?"

She's only a few months old, but I feel like all she does is cry. And as guilty as it makes me feel, it makes me want to rip my hair out and scream until my vocal chords bleed.

"It's probably because she's looking at your face," Mason laughs and stops when he realizes his mistake. "I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking."

"It's fine," I say harsher than intended. I know he doesn't mean anything by it, it's how we've always talked to each other.

        The tension of the moment is broken by the door opening. Mom walks in followed by the nursemaid. I sigh, "She hates me."

"She doesn't hate you," she laughs. "She's a baby, babies cry." I hand Morgan over and mom immediately begins talking quietly to her. "How's my precious girl?"

Morgan almost instantly stops crying and I give my mom a pointed look. She sighs, "As much as I don't want to leave you, we better get going." She kisses Morgan before handing her over to the nursemaid.

        Mason and I follow mom out of the nursery and she immediately stops us and holds us close. "I can't believe how fast you two have grown," she sniffles. "Fourteen? You were just babies."

       "Mom," Mason groans.

        "Alright, alright," she pulls away. "Mason go to your chambers and get ready. I'm going to go with Maeve and help her first and then I'll come and help you."

       He nods and gives her a quick kiss on the cheek before running off. I can feel his excitement and part of me envies that, because I can't remember the last time I was truly excited about something.

Mom clutches my hand and walks with me to my chambers. She hasn't been inside them for a while, so when we arrive I can tell it makes her sad, as much as she tries to mask it.

All the mirrors are gone, I couldn't stand looking at them. She doesn't mention it though, I don't think she knows what to say. Nobody really knows what to say to me these days, not that I can blame them.

She clears her throat. "Alright, put this on." I'm handed a simple white robe. No point in destroying my clothes.

It doesn't take me long to change and then I sit at my vanity, where mom begins brushing my hair. "Are you excited?"

I hum a response.

She sighs. "I know that this year has been unbelievably hard for you and we can't relate to what you are going through. But I want you to know that I am so proud of the person you are, my gorgeous girl."

I begin picking at the skin around my fingernails aggressively. "You're my mom, you have to say that," I mumble.

      She sets the brush down on the vanity and kneels in front of me. "I am many things, but I am not a liar. You are beautiful and strong and so many things you don't even know yet," she wipes a tear away. "You've endured things at such a young age, things I wasn't even thinking about when I was young. And I wish I could take all of that pain, I really do."

       Maybe she has more to say, but I throw my arms around her neck and she freezes. It doesn't take long for her to reciprocate the hug. Being in her arms makes me feel like a child again, like I'll always be safe.

        That thought makes me pull away, "We probably need to get going."

         She gives me a tight smile. "Yes. We do." She pulls a vial out of her dress pocket. "I'm going to get Mason, but drink this. It will cut the link between you two during the shift so you don't feel each other's pain."

        I take it from her and she begins to leave. "Mom?"

        "Yes?"

        "I love you."

        She looks at me sadly. "I love you too."

        And then she's gone, leaving me alone to drink the potion she made.

        A little bit later, Mason and I are standing underneath the moon. I'm glad I can't feel Mason and he can't feel me. I don't want to feel his happiness and I don't want him feeling my anger.

        Growing up, the thought of my first shift was exciting and it's nothing like I pictured it. Aside from my mood, first shifts are usually a big deal. And yet, it's only mom, dad, Mason, and a few guards.

       I know dad doesn't particularly care for me, but Mason is the first born and heir to the throne. I'm surprised he isn't going all out.

       A deep ache settles into my bones and I'm caught off guard. Mason's shift hasn't started yet.

      The worst of the pain begins in my gums. "Do you feel anything?," I turn to Mason, panic in my voice.

Before he can respond, my leg snaps and I fall to the ground in agony. It's torture, but I refuse to let myself scream or cry. Torture I can take. What I can't take is looking weak.

       I try to think back to how long the first shift is supposed to last, but my mind is too muddled. But it feel like hours of bones breaking and rearranging and fighting the urge to scream. And then Mason's shift starts and it's torture all over again.

         But I survive, like I always do.

When the shift is finished, I expect to be drained, but instead I feel better than I ever have. That is until I notice my father's heated glare and reality sets back in.

It all starts making sense. Why mom has seemed so sad today and why our first shift wasn't a bigger event. Because I was the first born all along.