The Beginning | Damon Salvatore #1

Chapter 20

Sam had followed Dean out the door with only a glance toward Elena and Stefan. Once Sam closed the heavy door behind him, he walked to Dean, leaning up against the Impala, glaring out onto the lawn.

"She's gone, Sam," he said, clenching his jaw. He was so angry at her and at the vampire for making her love him somehow. He was tricking her. Sam shook his head lightly and raised his brows.

"You don't know that, Dean. Did you see the way Damon was sulking?" He asked, not knowing what Dean saw. His brother looked at him and shook his head.

"She's gone, Sam. You didn't see how she touched him, how she kissed him, how she told him she loved him," he said, choking out the words as if he were about to vomit. "She's gone for good."

Sam was silent and shocked. First, Alex had been so cryptic about the time she'd been staying with these vampires and about what the angel told her after she exorcised the demon in that witch, yet she was always so adamant about killing Elias and every vampire out there before she was captured by Elias again.

He mentally kicked himself for that because he knew it was his fault this time; he was supposed to keep his eyes on her while she placed three bouquets of flowers at the base of each headstone belonging to her family members, and he looked away. One second, she was there, crying with the flowers in her hands, and the next, she disappeared. Dean was furious with him when he came back to the motel without her.

"I'm sorry, Dean," he said, knowing his brother loved Alex. He'd always been so soft toward her, even when they were training her. He comforted her through her tears as her hands shook around the handle of each blade he had placed there. He was there for her and now, like Dean said, she was gone, so they would be too. If she needed them, they'd be here, but until then, they were leaving and Sam knew it before Dean opened the car door and got in, turning to key to ignite the low rumble he'd loved.

Once Sam was in the car, Dean backed out of the driveway and didn't look back.

————

Damon and Alex sat on Damon's bed for a long time. When the sun went down, they laid there next to each other. Alex's skin burned under her Metallica shirt and seemed to dry her still-damp hair.

"Hey Damon?" She asked with her hand on his chest, smoothing it over the feel of his shirt. It was so weird for her to be able to do that now.

"Hm?" His eyes were closed, but his hand lightly rubbed her arm as she went on.

"Why didn't you tell me you used to know God?" She asked quietly, unsure of how he was going to react. He opened his eyes and looked down at hers, but his silence lingered over them for a moment longer than she wanted.

"It wasn't about me," he simply said, looking away and up to the ceiling. His hand became stiff on her arm.

"Will you tell me about it?" She asked softly. She didn't want to push him, but she was itching to know why he never said anything, especially after she'd felt so alone with her thoughts. He took in a breath and raised up from the bed. He looked back at her laying there, turning his body to halfway face her.

"When I was young, my father took Stefan and me to church every Sunday. He was certain that if we had a good foundation of faith, he wouldn't have to protect us as much from the evil in the world. He was a scared man. My mother had died of tuberculosis and he didn't know how to take care of two, young, scared, ignorant boys.

"Eventually, when we moved to Mystic Falls, we had not gone to church in years. I was planning on going to war because I knew that was right, but I never forgot about God. In fact, I had great faith for a while, but once we came here, I was consumed by Katherine."

Alex shuddered; Elena told her about Katherine Pierce and the infamous, intoxicating hold she had on both Stefan and Damon and how Elena was her doppelgänger, commencing the strange bond between her and Stefan.

"She had a hold on me and I couldn't understand why I was so fascinated by her vampirism. I wanted it. It was all I could think about in those last weeks of being human. I completely forgot about God, and after my father shot me and Stefan for being sympathizers, it was too late. I had already been drinking her blood.

"When we woke and I thought Katherine was dead, I was ready to die, but nothing was was worse than knowing my connection with God was severed. I can't go to Him. I walked away from Him and now I'm paying the price."

Alex was on her knees facing Damon now, "What price, Damon? Yeah, I've gotten to that part in the Bible. There is no price we have to pay anymore, and you know it. I understand that it's hard to forgive yourself for all you've done because it's hard for me to know all those vampires I killed could have been redeemed, but I solidified their fate. I have to live with that, but God has still chosen me. He's chosen you, Damon. You don't have to force yourself to carry the weight anymore."

He looked at her with such softness, she wanted to kiss him again, but she kept herself separate from him.

"How do I know you aren't just telling me this so you feel better about being with me? How do I know I'm not just your fixer-upper and after you make me human, if God even allows, if I even want that, you won't just walk away?" He was fully turned to her now, his eyes piercing her soul. She sighed, running her hand down his cheek and to his neck.

"Damon, do you want to have that connection with Him again?" He looked at her in shock; she hadn't disproved his words, but her question was what he'd been asking himself for weeks. Did he want to be saved after everything he'd done? Did he want to be human again? Did he not only love Alex enough, but more importantly, love God enough to forgive himself and try to have that relationship with Him again?

"Yes," he said simply, though he was unsure. She smiled, warmth spreading through her chest, seeing the hope in his eyes and knowing he had no idea how much he was worth to her and to God, but she knew. Somehow, she knew.

"Then, we need to get to work."