Mental Health One-Shots

Bucky x Reader

TW: Bulimic Behaviors such as making yourself sick and bad talk about your body

I'm sitting in the living room in the Avengers compound alone, letting my thoughts get the best of me. Why is Bucky with me of all people? He's constantly telling me how beautiful I am, but with years of people telling me otherwise I just don't believe him. I've tried every diet and workout imaginable but nothing works, so I've resorted to other methods. A few weeks ago I started making myself sick after every meal to try and lose weight. Bucky knows something is wrong, just not what. I know he's getting suspicious. I hear the door open and look up and see Steve walk in before sitting next to me.

    "So.... how have you been lately?" He's picking at his fingers, obviously uncomfortable. I roll my eyes and look at him.

    "You can tell Bucky, I'm fine." He lets out a sigh of defeat, shaking his head. He looks at me with a small smile.

"He's worried about you. You should talk to him." He puts his hand in his pocket, awkwardly standing up.

"I haven't done anything, why does he think something is wrong?" I know why, but if I know what is making him suspicious I can hide it better.

"He knows you y/n. Just talk to him, whatever it is, he can take it." You nod and he walks out. I sit for a minute thinking about Buck before walking to our shared room. I see Bucky sitting on the bed looking very somber.

"Bucky," he looks up at me and my heart breaks at the state I have him in. His face is flushed, eyes red and brimmed with tears, "I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have let you worry about me like that." I kneel down and take his face in my hand, my own eyes threatening to spill with tears.

"What's been going on with you? Did I do something? I'm sorry for whatever I did doll I love you." I feel like my heart has been ripped from my chest. I never meant to hurt him.

"You didn't do anything, Buck I'm sorry I made you worry." His face twists into one of confusion.

"Then what's been going on? Y/n I know it's something you don't have to hide, I want to help you."  I bite my lip trying to hold in a sob, and a few tears slip out.

"Bucky..... I-" I'm cut off when JARVIS comes over the intercom.

"Mrs.Potts asked me to inform everyone that dinner is ready." I stand up and wipe my eyes in the mirror across the room.

"Y/n they can wait, we need to talk." He walks over to you looking at you in the mirror over your shoulder.

"There's nothing to talk about." He opens his mouth to speak, but I walk out the room and down the stairs into the dining room. I sit between Nat and Wanda to avoid Bucky but he sits directly in front of me. I sit through the dinner in silence only speaking when spoken to. About way halfway through dinner I     start to feel nauseous with the amount of food in my stomach. I stand up and excuse myself before quickly walking upstairs and going into the bathroom. Thinking everyone is downstairs I don't bother locking the doors as I usually do. I kneel down infront of the toilet, sticking my fingers down my throat.

-With Bucky-

After y/n leaves I wait a few minutes before following her to our shared room. I open the door but don't see her anywhere.

"Y/n?" When she doesn't answer I make my way to the bathroom. I go to knock but then hear retching coming from the other side of the door.

"Y/n are you-y/n!" I open the door and see her leaned over the toilet with her fingers down her throat.

-With You-

I stare at him in shock realizing what he just caught me doing. After a few seconds I snap back into reality, shooting up to my feet.

"Get out!" I scream.

"Y/n wait-" he takes a step towards me, but I back away sticking my clean hand out.

"Get...out!!" he nods and backs away reluctantly and I slam the door shut sliding my back down it not bothering to sensor the sobs coming out of my mouth. After a few minutes my sobs die down and I sit their tears quietly streaming down my face.     I think Bucky left, but i'm too scared to walk out and find out.

"Y/n," I hear Bucky's soft voice from the other side of the door making me jump slightly, "doll i'm not mad. I want to help...if you'll let me." when I don't respond I hear him let out a defeated sigh. "Do you want me to get Natasha or Wanda? You don't have to talk to me, but you need to talk to someone," when I still don't respond I hear him get up and I do the same still not making a sound, "ok, i'll leave you alone." I take a deep breath and muster up my courage before opening the door slowly. Bucky, who had a hand on the door, turns around showing his tear streaked face.

"I'm uh- you- you weren't supposed to find out." I sit on the bed playing with my fingers.

"I'm glad I did, I knew something was wrong but I didn't know it was this bad. How long have you been doing this?" He sits next to me, but leaves some space in between us."You're not mad?" I risk a look at him and relax when I see a look of love and understanding.

"Not at all. Do you want to talk now, or would you like to relax and talk tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow."

"Ok." He lays you both down and you cuddle into his chest, while he runs his fingers through my hair.

"I love you doll."

"I love you too." With that I drift asleep in Bucks arms, knowing he's there for me no matter what.

A/N: Here's my first chapter!! I hope you enjoyed. Please make requests, I would love to write whatever you guys need and I'm always open to talk love you guys <3