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Hey, that's a mean looking witch! Yee haw! Let's shoot'er!
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10/16/94
Boyds trip. Too loud walkman already irritating me. Far be it from me to turn away help. It seems beggars can't be choosers. I feel like I should throw a little party, buy a bottle of cuervo or something - a little fiesta before the potential hellshoot. Practical and theoretical experience are 2 different things. This raises concerns for me, as far as Mike goes. I don't know him, but I think he'll be alright though. Tolerance. Preparation. Wits. Keeping one's wits. Squirrels. Fish. [Inuhim]. Keep [ucumberesqne]. Cool. Relaxed. Ready. Relaxed Readiness. Possibilities can be so ugly. Stay focused focused focused. Handle what is actually happening rather than freak about what could happen. How much to tell the boys? This is directly related to not worrying . . .
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. . about what could happen. I don't want them to be unnecessarily worried (esp. Mike). For any cases, I am prepared enough for all three of us, mentally, anyway. Everything has finally fallen into place. I cannot afford for someones a$sholes behavior to screw things up. And let's put it this way, I'm not worried about Josh. Note to self - This negative energy is bad Karma for the whole project. 3 is a number of unity. 3 is a number of perfection and creation. Although one (1) stands for the creative force, three, representing the acting of the intelligent principle on matter, stands for the act of creation. 3 is the # of TOTALITY OF TIME (past, present, future) and of activity (beginning, middle, end). It is the number of the Trinity (Triple Goddess!) and corresponding groupings of 3 of other religions, and of the FAMILY. 3 is the basis of magical doctrine, it supposes an intelligent cause, ...
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. . . a cause which speaks!, and an expressed principle. Well, that's us, 3. Butterflies on acid in my belly. What if Elly K simply became a survivalist and killed out of self defense? if an equilateral triangle (such as the one she made where the men from the search party were found dead) with the point upward is mean to ward off evil spirits, maybe she put it there to PROTECT their bodies, and perhaps she didn't kill them at all. Hell, maybe she doesn't even exist. But if she does . . . oh, what an adventure this will be! PREPERATION over TREPIDATION DON'T BE SCARED . . . BE PREPARED! maybe if the documentary thing doesn't work out, I have a future in PSA's!
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10/16/94 (after the Lone Star)
Set up shop after the Lone Star. Bill sleeping. Not I. Field. Field. Field. We cannot go out there soon enough for me. Elly Kedward. Josh and Mike. I hope they will pull through. I am not so worried about Josh. Arrogance toward nature is a very bad idea. Clear night. North star visible. Black sky. Elly our there. Maybe. Well . . . ? If anything will/can find out it will be me. I can't explain the kinship I feel to her. She will get through. I cannot see how she could avoid perceiving the energy I am sending her way, and have been for 2 years now. The time is ripe. right. ready. Am I. Confidence must be a guiding force. If I cannot ground and center myself I will lose Josh & Mike immediately. It never hurts to play "the girl" though, either. A balance of good 'ol feminine manipulation mixed with maintaining the respect due my position shoud be an interesting . . .
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...guest. The guys are going to be picking up equipment tomorrow and shooting some tests. I am going to focus on some last minute research (checking out some old documentaries on occultish things). I am hoping this will help to inspire me as far the "look" of the film goes, as I have been so caught up with the details these past few weeks, I have had little thought time to devote to the actual aesthetic that I am going for. I am rather clueless in this department at the moment. I can certain, however, that I'll know it when I see it. In any case I'll shoot enough video just in case I can't see "it" until the 2nd or 3rd viewing. To the woods at the end of the week. Three days of odds & ends.Mystical three...
