it's months after you come from the mental hospital, and it's about to be new years. you start your "new life" off with a party. well, lets just say some things never change.
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this was fucking insane. who even thought you'd be alive after that. 80% of you wishes you were dead. you HATE yourself and the life you've had. but the other 20% is glad because of your real friends and family are here with you. you've been in the mental hospital for mainly the rest of the year. rue was right about one thing, you definitely were mentally ill. the amount of breakdowns and episodes you had in there were actually crazy. you never thought you'd leave that shit hole of a place, until december hit. you were finally sane enough to leave and go home. when you were leaving the hospital, you saw your friends waiting outside. your mother had the stereotypical soccer mom van, especially after this. she knew she needed to have more room in the car for your friends. there's also another person there. it was.. him? you didn't expect him here. the girls ran up to you and made a group hug as they cried and told you they missed you. you never thought maddy and kat would come. cassie & lexi on the other hand, you definitely knew they'd come. "i missed you guys so much too. you have no idea." you murmured with tears forming.
you really loved your friends. they meant everything to you, and you'd kill for them. you pull from the hug and look at the van, then back to them. "did you come with my mom?" you asked as they all said yes in unison. you nodded and walked to the trunk to put your things in there. "i'm just ready to fucking leave this place and lay in a real bed." you joke as you shut the trunk and turn to the man who came. "so... what are you doing here.." you spoke to nate as you look around him. looking him in the eye isn't the best idea, especially if you outed him in front of everyone. "i wanted to see if you were okay, i uh.. heard about what happened and i felt horrible." he spoke with generosity. you look him in his eyes, and you knew he wasn't joking. "oh.. well thanks nate. that actually means a lot." you replied with a smile before seeing he is leaning on his truck. "you came separately?" you asked as he gets off the car and gets into his car. "yeah, maddy told me she was coming and i was already driving so.." he responds before smiling, "i'll see you around [y/n]!" he yells before driving off.
"goodbye, jacobs!" you shout back, loud enough so he can hear you before he gets on the road. "welk that was fucking weird." you say before getting in the van, the others following. "so.." kat started, "what do you want for christmas?" you had forgotten about the holiday. the hospital you were at didn't celebrate holidays so you kind of just had to forget about them. "oh right, christmas. i don't know." you ramble. maddy rolls her eyes and began to talk. "i know everything you want because i read your diary sorry not sorry."
you laugh, "maddy, really? where even was it, i lost that thing a while before i left." she only smiled and waved it in your face. "there's many pages left, you can use that after your... break?" maddy didn't know how else to say it in a bright and uplifting way. you only smiled and took the diary from her hands before speaking up, "well tell the others my dirty secrets and wishes, i have to go christmas shopping soon. what day is it again?" they all looked at you weirdly. "did they do shock therapy on you?" cassie asks. that only caused you to burst into laughter. "hell no, they just aren't like the hospitals you'd usually choose. they don't celebrate holidays and they don't give you too much details about anything. being in there made me stupid, i'll admit." you finish before sighing. "mom i'm hungry. is there anything at home?" you groaned as your stomach growled intensely. "yes there is, i made lunch for everyone. and its december 20th, [y/n]." your mother assured and continued to drive. the ride home was peaceful and comforting. you almost fell asleep. when you were close to home you were in a familiar neighborhood. you look out the window and see nothing but nice houses. that was until her house came up. you put your head down in case she was outside. once you felt like you were far from her house, you put your head back up and continued to look out the window.
