The Curse of Viktor Black

Stressed, depressed and a little bit obsessed

A.N.:I wrote this  In a day, like I  was on crack, enjoy.

TW: Violence, bullying, idiotism

Moving to a small town in the middle of the fucking school year is hard. Leaving all your friends and your boyfriend of 2 years is even harder. Being the new kid in a school where everyone already knows each other is fucking hostile enough, without some asshole named O' Neill hassling you every day. You know somebody is a douchebag when they are only being called by their last name. Whilst O'Neill yanked my books and bag out of my locker that's all I could think about. He and his buddies had a vicious grin on their faces participating in bringing their daily scheduled 5 minutes of misery upon me. When they were done with me O'Neill made sure he banged the locker behind me so hard it made a dent. Asserting his dominance over the weaker man, classy. THAT WAS TERRIFYING. There was something wrong with him, I was sure of it. He was not just your typical high school asshole. He made a point of looking coldly into my eyes before he left. It would be a lie if I told you I wasn't scared of him to death. Not the pranks he'd pull with his pack of idiots, but there was something about him. With that cold glare, he looked like your resident psychopath. And you know what they say, small towns are practically crawling with them. The worst part about this whole ordeal was that the whole school followed O'Neill. What he says goes. I don't know what the fuck was his problem with me anyways...But from the very first day I started school here, it was like I had a target on my back. So you can see why I am not that popular. No one wants to hang with you if they are going to be punished for it.  Well, almost no one. Marine was uncool before I arrived here, I don't know why but she was also a social outcast. We found each other soon after I came here and started hanging out. At least I have one friend in this hellhole.

Cute but nerdy she had a kind of smile that made you wanna smile as well. One of those freckly faces that looks good no matter the lighting. And come to think of it, I have no idea why she wasn't so popular. Sometimes it felt like it was just her choice not to hang out with the others. Unlike me, they greeted her in the hallways and never said a bad word behind her back.  She chose to be a lone wolf until I came along. She was avoided but never hated, the worst they dared to do to her was a couple of weird glances. She was part of this school and this town, one of their own, and that's something I'll never be.  O'Neill and his buddies liked reminding me of that. Still, I was always grateful for Marine. In ways, I felt honored someone like her chose me to be their friend. Her smile brightened my afternoon. She always found ways to cheer me up, cause she knew I was bullied. Like today when she walked towards me with a box of chocolate chip cookies. Right on time. Every day in here is the same, mind-numbingly repetitive. Go to school, on the second bell get harassed, survive till the afternoon and you may see a ray of sun in the shape of Marine show up, more classes, get bullied again, wait for an hour after O'Neill leaves so you're safe, go home. It's like I'm stuck in a fucking hell loop. Without her, this kind of torture would be unbearable. I take a cookie before I stare at my smashed-in locker and begin to pick up my stuff. Bullies are now a safe distance away from me to start doing that. But this was not the worst part of my day, O'Neill and his gang of bros can't hurt me as much as I pretend they can. Altho he is one of my reasons not to live, he is certainly not the only one. Don't get me wrong, he was absolutely terrifying. But he and his crew were just pouring salt on my wound. The real reason I feel like shit every day is that I can't stop thinking about what happened before I moved here...

I spent the first two months at my new school stressed, depressed and a little bit obsessed. Checking his Instagram daily for any signs of life became a habit. Not a healthy one but still a habit. What did people do without the internet, was it easier to forget people back then, or did they too struggle and pine after someone until the day they died. Was their last regret not telling someone they love them? A dark thought. That's the beauty of the internet and the 21st century. All it takes is a push of a button. Yet no one ever presses it, I don't know why. I thought about a medieval peasant girl staring at a meadow or the sky blowing a dandelion wishing to change the course of the wind. Back  In reality I was staring blankly at the whiteboard in our chem classroom. Honestly, if it wasn't crawling with assholes this school might have been a very enjoyable place. Huge windows with lots of light and big halls, descent cafeteria. I spun my fluffy purple pen between my fingers, thinking. I know I should have been paying attention to class or Marine's whispering. But it was just so damn hard when I have so many things on my mind. Maybe I should stop. But my mind kept drifting. Drifting till eventually, it hit the thought of him. His caramel brown hair and his full lips, the way he used to laugh- Like a child. The things he'd whisper to me... The time when he explained "the spacecraft" movie to me in his bunk bed. A ping of a paper ball hitting me snapped me out of my daydream. It was Marine. I Unfold the paper: -"Stop thinking about HIM" in big bold letters. She knew. She knew the whole story, and of course, how could I not tell my best friend? Needless to say, she thought he was an asshole. I told her how he dumped me a month before I even knew I was moving. How his moods would change like the weather and how he was leading me on for 2 years before breaking up with me. That he ended our relationship over that stupid meaningless fight. At least it seemed meaningless to me. Michael didn't like when things didn't go precisely as he planned. And I didn't like anyone trying to control my every move. I can't even count how many times we broke up and got back together...But I just always thought he'd come back. And I didn't wanna make the first move. But eventually, I caved. It made no difference anyway, he didn't respond to any of my messages or voicemails. He just ghosted me. I swear It was like screaming into the thin air. I felt so lame. Weak. For needing him, or missing him enough to make the first step. When he gave me the cold shoulder I felt like I made a fool of myself.  And then I came here. I kept texting him still, no response. As soon as my mom told me I was moving, I knew it was over. There was no getting back together with Michael. No familiar laugh or comfy pastel sweaters that smelled like him. No more memories or white lilies on my doorstep. Junkfood or movies until midnight. Just a shitty screensaver of us together smiling. I still keep it on my phone. It felt safe. A small thing that reminds me I'm human after all the torture I endure thought the day. Marine discouraged it but was sympathetic towards me for these first 2 months. I sensed that starting today things were gonna change.