Waiting In The Wings

1

It's been so long... can't I finally have my time in the spotlight?

Waking up to another cloudy day is never a great feeling, especially when you know that the day will play out like all the others anyway. It always does, and always will until someone calls for a love interest or I get to play the role of the best friend. 

Until then, I will remain on the sideline and watch my life pass me by. What else can I do? Wake up, get dressed, school, clubs, sleep, repeat. The conversations always go the same, round in circles of the same meaningless words, everyone playing a part that they think they fit into. 

Even my closest friends don't tell me or show me their real selves. I suppose I don't need them to. Why would I feel so entitled that they should give up their privacy? 

So no, we just live in repetition, for now, waiting and waiting for change. For something to happen and break me free from this circle of boredom. Every day consisting of nothing completely significant, but nothing to warrant being angry or upset, just... the same.  

No one else seems to mind how utterly pointless this existence seems to be, how can you ignore the gaping hole that should be filled with love and joy? Or maybe I should be feeling those things, but they will come with time? Why can't I be satisfied with this ridiculously privileged life that I have been handed?

I set goals and reach after them, but can't pull myself to write an essay or exercise for a few minutes. Where did my childlike curiosity go? Why do I depend on instant gratification? Is there any way to change my life now, or do I have to continue waiting, as each year goes by saying that this will be the year that I will live?

Reluctantly, I climb out of bed, stumbling across the room to open the blind. With a sigh, I remind myself it is still winter, of course, not everything is blue skies. When I open the door, the empty corridor greets me with a smile, used to my complaining. Carefully, I pick my way down the stairs, avoiding the creaking of the old wood. Sneakily, I push open the door and am relieved when no one is occupying the living room. 

Now walking normally, I shake my head at myself and head over to my phone, realising the irony in feeling lonely and also avoiding people at the same time. Turning it on, I head back upstairs, not quite ready to face the world just yet.

Maybe if I hide in my room, everything will just go away. 

Author's Note

New story! I have no idea where I am going with this yet, but will update whenever I feel like doing so, tell me what you think in the comments <3