Part 28- i am not okay

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The next day

"Y/n, Dr Banner would like to see you in the medical room" JARVIS called, you may have been healed and able to walk but Bruce was doing weekly checks just to be safe, and you were a very clumsy person so he wanted to make sure you weren't hiding anything
You rolled your eyes and looked at your dads as though to say 'really again!'
"He's only doing it to make sure you're ok" papa said
"Yea, and like I have told him the last 3 times, I'm fine!" You sassed
"Doll" dad warned
"Fine, fine! I'm going" you reluctantly got up, and walked down to the lab (or up idk)
You tripped Down/up the stairs multiple times and you knew your knees were going to bruise sooner or later but that's nothing new

In the lab

"Bruce, I've told you this before and I'll tell you again, I'm fine and I don't need you to check me over anymore" you said
"Yes, and I heard you, I just want to check to make sure, because you are so clumsy" he said
"This is true, this is true, I tripped up the stairs at least 3 times, but that's not something that needs looking at" you said, he just looked at you suspiciously
He checked you over, but this time he caught your bloody knuckles from your date with the punching bag yesterday
"Y/n I am going to ask you this and I want you to answer honestly, are sure you're ok, mentally, I mean, not just physically" he asked, your whole body tensed, you just stayed quiet and avoided eye contact with him "y/n/n? Look at me" He said, you looked at him dead in the eyes and said
"I'm. Fine." You said very bluntly, and ran off to your room and locked the door
The second your door was shut and locked you broke down completely, you just couldn't do it anymore the mascara you had put on that morning had completely ran down your face, you were just curled up in a ball in the corner of your room with all of your dark thoughts clouding your head

*Flash
Hey hottie
Hey are you free I wanna go out hottie
Hey hottie
Who's the hottie Penis Parker
You should just kill yourself
You're so ugly
You're fat
I wanna die
I wanna cut
But I can't I've made it 4 weeks self harm free
I wanna cut
Cut yourself
Cut yourself
Cut yourself
Cut yourself
SHUT THE FUCK UP BRAIN*

"JARVIS make sure no one comes in, even if they ask you to open the door" you called out
"I will, miss roger-barnes" he answered
"Thank you JARVIS, and call me y/n or y/n/n, ms roger-barnes seems to formal"
"Will do y/n"

After about 10 minutes of you crying you heard knocks coming from your door
"Y/n, are you ok, you just ran off" it was Bruce
"....."
"Doll, open the door please" dad said
"...."
You just couldn't answer. If you wanted to be honest, you actually couldn't hear them, your head was just swarmed with so many thoughts, you looked dead to the world. You were just staring off into the abyss of your bedroom walls. Little did you know, that all of the avengers were outside your door

"JARVIS open the door" Tony called 
"Y/n has put me under strict instructions not to open the door, even to you" JARVIS called

You snapped out of your thoughts at the sound of JARVIS. You got up and went into the bathroom to clean yourself up, and look somewhat presentable after your breakdown "let them in JARVIS"
"Ok miss y/n" you chuckle at him still using the title miss, you hear the door click and then everyone run in

You walk out of your bathroom and sit on your bed like nothing happened. You put your reading glasses on and You completely ignore the avengers and there odd looks, and just sit on your bed and get your sketch pad and finish some old drawings
"Doll" dad says gently, you look up at him
"Yes" you said emotionlessly (if that's even a word) then looking back down into your drawing
"What's wrong, you completely just ran out from the lab, and now you're just ignoring us" he explained concerned, and everyone else just added a few hmms in agreement
"Hmm, yes I can see how that is concerning, how can I help?" You said sarcastically to try and hide the pain whilst also not looking up from your sketch pad
"We'll leave you two to it, this seems like a family problem" Tony said
Nearly everyone left apart from your dads, and Bruce
Your dads sat down on the edge of your bed with Bruce still standing
"Sweetheart, we can't help you if you don't tell us what's wrong" papa said
You put your pencil down and took your glasses off and looked at the super soldiers and the scientist, you set everything to the side, on your nightstand.
"Look, if you really wanna know what wrong, then I'll tell you" you paused for a second and took a deep breath and continued on "ever since Beth and Ben being adopted, flash, the messenger, my relapses. I just haven't felt the same, I can't feel anything so when Bruce asked me if I was okay, I ran, to avoid the question, cause my answer is no, I am not okay, and I know that, but I don't feel it, I get panic attacks once you've put me to bed, I fight the urges to self harm, sometimes I just wanna go to sleep and not wake up, but these are just things that happen, I don't feel it" you finished and looked at your hands like they were the most interesting thing in the whole world
"Oh hunny" papa said and pulled you into a bone crushing hug
"Papa....can't...breath" you squeezed out, and he let you go
"Sooooo" you said
"Y/n, this is the exact reason i give you a once over every week" Bruce said
"I know that...now at least" you said and let out a small chuckle "wait why do you give me a physical once over, if it's my mental health that's the problem" you said confused, and all Bruce did was get up and leave without saying a word
"Uh-" you looked at your dads and they just shrugged
"BRUCE" you jumped up out of bed and chased after him, but he was long gone so you just stopped in the living-room






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