𝘽𝙚𝙖𝙪𝙩𝙞𝙛𝙪𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙒𝙧𝙚𝙘𝙠𝙚𝙙

Chapter Twenty Seven • I'm Not Leaving You

(trigger warning: this chapter contains self harm, please skip if it makes you uncomfortable)

𝙇𝙪𝙣𝙖'𝙨 𝙋𝙤𝙫

To my youngest daughter,
If you're reading this then I'm probably dead, sorry for being blunt. I'm sorry that I wasn't always the greatest role model, or made the greatest choices. I'm sorry you never got the childhood that you deserved, if I could go back I would change everything, but I can't. I know that you think once I'm gone you'll have nothing left, no one left. But I need you to remember your sister, remember that she's there for, that she always has been. I know you've both had a rocky relationship, constantly fighting with each other, but she truly does love you. I know she's your big sister but she's gonna need you more than she lets on. You guys are gonna need each other, so I need you to promise me something. No matter where you are, if you're fighting, if you're angry, please take care of each other. There are a lot of things I need to tell you, things I should've told you. One day you're gonna find out things about yourself that may scare you, but if anyone can handle it, it's you. I love you Luna, always remember that.
-Love always, mom.

Three days.

It's been three days since Zoe died.

Three days since I've spoken to anyone, three days since I've lock myself in Jax and I's guest room, three days since I've eaten anything.

"Luna, it's time to go." Lily's soft voice speaks through the door.

Her funeral is today.

I sit on the bedroom floor, tears streaming down my face as I reread my mother's letter for the thousandth time these last three days.

I broke my mom's promise.

I should've known something was wrong, I should've.

No matter how badly my sister and I fought she would never forget my birthday, never forget Christmas. And what was I doing? Being happy.

I must've been someone who kicked puppies for fun in a past life in order for these shitty things to keep happening. It's like every time I get even a taste of happiness the world reminds me that I don't deserve it.

She must've been so confused and scared, wondering what was going on. Wondering why my ex boyfriend was torturing her.

As soon as I found out about Kyle and the American Mafia I should've gone to her, told her everything. Kyle knew where she lived, he knew he could use her against me.

That just makes me wonder how long he had her.

How long she was scared and in pain.

"Luna." Lily speaks again.

I stand up on wobbly legs, the constant feeling of nausea hitting me all at once.

I take a few deep breaths before opening the door and stepping out, feeling everyone's gazes on me.

Feeling their pity.

I don't say a word as I walk past everyone to the front door, opening it and walking out.

I just want this to all be over.

•••

My eyes stare at the dirt beneath my feet.

The same dirt from the hole they dug for my sister's casket.

Damien stands next to me, us watching as the casket descends into the ground further and further.

I don't pay attention to the priest's words.

I don't pay attention to all the fake ass people with their fake ass smiles giving me their condolences.