Panic Attacks and Campfires

Loud.

They were all so damn loud.

Why did Will insist they goto the campfire? It was stupid, and it was the same every time. All they did was sing stupid songs, what was so fun about that? And why did they have to be so loud?

Nico brought his knees up to his chest, wrapping his skinny arms around them. His breath was scattered, coming in short leaps, and he was trying his best to look calm. He didn't need Will fusing over him, and he didn't want to ruin his night anyways. Will loved the campfires. And he was having a good time, singing loudly right next to Nico, swaying in time with everyone else.

Will's voice was the only one Nico found comfortable at the moment, was it loud? Yes. But it was soothing in a way too.

The song reached its climax, everyone suddenly getting more excited, and the fire jumped up to match them.

Nico tightened his grip on his legs, his face tight with anxiety. The noise was clawing at his ears, and he was doing everything in his power not to clutch his head and scream. He barely noticed the shadows gravitating to his body, being summoned by his distress. All he knew was that he had to get out. Now.

Then there was a hand on his shoulder, he couldn't help the violent flinch that erupted from his body.

Will's concerned face bore into Nico's dark eyes. "What's wrong?" He asked, leaning his head closer to Nico so he could hear him over the noise.

Nico could've cried. What was wrong? He was freaking out. He was pretty sure he was having a panic attack, or was about to have one. He couldn't breath. Everyone was screaming. There were so many people packed into the seats, so close to Nico. He felt like he was either going to accidentally summon a bunch of skeletons, or break down.

Instead of saying any of this, Nico just put on a small smile. "Nothing." He said, too quietly for Will to hear but he read his lips.

Will didn't buy it, probably because Nico's breathing had gotten worse. He felt like a gorilla was sitting on his chest, trying to suffocate him.

Standing up, he took Nico's hand in his, and carefully led them down the steps of the amphitheater. The farther they walked from the crowd, the more apparent it was that Nico's breathing wasn't normal.

They stopped far enough away that they could hear distant sounds of singing. Will led Nico to a tree, signaling for him to sit down. Nico all but collapsed.

Will sat in front of him, close enough for Nico to reach out if needed, but not touching him. "Hey, look at me."

Nico struggled to do this, he didn't know why. He'd looked into Will's beautiful eyes a billion times, maybe it was because he felt ashamed. He knew he shouldn't, but he couldn't help it. Why did he have to freak out like that?

Nico couldn't help the tears that started to rapidly fall from his eyes, or the sob that soon followed. The crying seemed to speed up his breathing even more, and he knew it would. He really should stop, but he couldn't seem to.

"Neeks." Will's voice was calm, though there was an edge of worry. "Nico."

Nico slowly dragged his eyes up to meet Will's. It took all his willpower.

"It's going to be alright. Just breathe with me, okay? I know it's hard, just do your best."

Nico nodded his head in jerky movements.

"Good. Okay, in for four." Will took a deep breath in, counting out four on his hands. "Hold for seven." Again, Will counted on his fingers. "Out for eight."

Nico tried to follow along with Will, it was hard. Especially because he was still crying. Eventually, though, after what felt like hours, Nico had gotten his breathing back to normal. Not being able to help himself, he dove into Will's arms.

"I'm sorry." Nico muttered, ashamed once again.

Will's arms wrapped around Nico in a tight, but not constricting, embrace. "You have nothing to be sorry for. Other than the fact that you should've told me you weren't up for the campfire. Next time, just tell me you wanna leave. Okay?" Will kissed the top of his head softly.

"Okay." Nico replied, and he kept true to this.

The next time he felt he couldn't deal with a campfire, or any public outing for that matter, he told Will. And Will never treated him like a nuisance, he would offer to stay in and cuddle. Or spar, an activity that always seemed to soothe Nico. And Nico loved him all the more for it.