Beautiful Tragic Love Affair

eleven.

Druig was next to you when you woke. He was sleeping with his head on your bed, his hand holding yours. Your heart clenched. You would have to tell him he was right. You hadn't been ready. You had failed.

Looking at him, you realized you had never seen him sleeping. He had always left before you woke up, waiting until you fell asleep. He looked so peaceful and your heart hurt at the thought of getting to see him like this every morning. No, you reminded yourself. He is not yours. You pulled your hand out of his.

He stirred as he felt you shift, slowly coming to. He raised his head and his eyes met yours. As relief came about his face, you realized he looked like he had gotten sleep for the first time in ages. "Hi," he said softly.

"Hi," you said back. "What are you doing here?"

"You were unconscious," he said, rubbing his face. "The Deviant got you pretty bad. Ajak healed your injuries but you had lost a lot of blood."

"Okay," you said slowly. "And what are you doing here?"

He hesitated. "Someone needed to monitor you through the night."

"Ah. And you got stuck with the job?" You nodded. That made more sense, though it didn't explain why he was holding your hand when you woke up.

"No, I—I wanted to be here," he said.

"Right," you rolled your eyes. "Be the first to say I told you so? I guess you were right. I wasn't ready."

"No," he said. "You were. You are. I was just terrified something would happen to you. I couldn't lose you."

"What?" You gaped at him, not fully comprehending his words.

"Y/N, I love you," he said. "I've always loved you. I should have told you before, centuries ago. But I couldn't."

The words you had wanted to hear for so long. Your chest tightened. You wanted to believe him. You wanted him to take you in his arms and kiss you, and show you he loved you. You wanted so many things. But you just didn't believe him. You couldn't, not again. You couldn't risk your heart again. "Stop it," you said quietly. "This is cruel, even for you."

"Y/N, listen to me, please," he said. "I love you."

"No, you don't," you said. "You can't. You said you couldn't."

"I lied," he said. "I couldn't tell you. I couldn't let you love me."

"No," you said. Your anger was growing with every word. "You don't get to do this. I'm finally putting my heart back together. You don't get to come in here and get my hopes again. You didn't want me. You said you didn't love me."

"I didn't say that," he said. "I said I couldn't love you. Because I shouldn't."

"What?"

"You deserve so much more than me," he said. "I know I hurt you, Y/N, and I deserve your anger. But please, believe me when I say that I love you. I have always loved you, and I will always love you."

You closed your eyes. "I don't believe you."

You couldn't. You couldn't open your heart again to him. It was too painful. You had become someone new, someone you didn't recognize anymore, consumed by your pain. He had done that to you. And you couldn't go back there, so hopefully and blindly in love with him, ready to do anything for him, only to have him break your heart again.

"I know," he said quietly. "I'll prove it to you. I'll make you believe me again."

You looked away as Sersei came into the room. "Y/N, you're awake!"