Chapter 19: Making My Way Back to You

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You heaved a deep sigh, closing your eyes for a moment before willing yourself to get up. After spending the whole night staring at the ceiling with a whirlwind of thoughts trashing your mind, it was time to get up.

As much as you felt like you could not bear to face Dean right now after what happened last night, there was an important hunt you needed to go on. The most important hunt of your life. You weren't going to let anything stop you from going.

You shuffled into the library of the bunker, dragging your feet as anxiety filled your chest. You turned the corner, expecting to be greeted by Dean's face, but, instead, your eyes were met by an empty table.

You hurried over to the map table, picking up the piece of paper on it. On it was scribbled 'Gone on the Hunt. Stay here. – D.'

Your eyes traced the rest of the paper, noticing a hurried scribble at the bottom of it. 'I'm sorry' it read in Dean's sloppy handwriting.

Tears involuntarily brimmed your eyes. You dropped the paper, collapsing into one of the chairs with your hands covering your face.

You were a mess. That's all you could describe your feelings with right now.

Dean's confession the night before had shocked you to the core. He had called you his soulmate. You didn't even know what that meant, yet hearing those words had sent your heart flying out of your chest.

You hadn't even had the time to process his words when, all of a sudden, he had been in front of you. He kissed you. Roughly. Passionately. You had felt his heart and soul in that kiss and you had loved it. That was until the kiss was over and the crushing reality of everything hit you.

Panic had clouded your mind and you had run away. You couldn't take the whirlwind of emotions you were feeling at that moment. You couldn't process any of it. So, you had run away and hid in Dean's room all night.

You hadn't even heard the boys leave for the hunt without you.

As much as you had dreaded facing Dean this morning, seeing that he wasn't even here hurt a lot more than you liked to admit. A part of you hoped to see him. To talk to him. Get him to explain what he said and what it meant.

You were confused. Confused and scared.

But it had felt so nice.

His hands on your face. His warm body pressed against yours. His lips capturing yours in the heat of the moment.

You had been thinking of what it would be like to kiss Dean pretty much since you met him. At first, you blamed it on how attractive he was. As you got to know him, though, you came to realise it wasn't just his looks.

You felt a connection to him. A connection unlike anything you had ever felt before. You could talk to him, open up to him like you rarely ever did with anyone. You could laugh with him and scream along to his CDs in the car, always ignoring Sam's complaints about how loud it was.

When Dean entered the room, your heart would skip a beat. He'd smile at you and you'd feel yourself floating away on a fluffy pink cloud. He'd look at you with tenderness in his eyes and you would want to burst.

You were in love with him. Hopelessly in love with him. Dean Winchester.

You had realised that some time ago, but had tried to brush it off repeatedly. Dean had been acting so odd around you, it was hard to imagine him reciprocating your feelings.

But when he kissed you. Called you his soulmate. All that changed.

And it overwhelmed you so much, you couldn't bear to be in the same room as him. Now, you regretted that more than anything.

You sighed deeply, looking up at the clock.

It was still early. You knew the boys were going to get some sleep before heading off to the hunt. They wouldn't have been on the road that long by now. If you hurried – maybe broke some speed limits – you could catch up with them before they threw themselves into the demons' den. You could still help.

You could still tell Dean.

Having made your decision, you jumped up from the chair and ran back to Dean's room. You quickly gathered some things into a bag and hurried to the garage, where some spare cars were waiting for you. Jumping into the one that still had a key in the ignition, you sped off.

You could only hope you'd make it there in time. 

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