Heathers The Musical (The Novelization)

It's My Candy Store

Dear Diary,
It's been three weeks since I became friends with the Heathers. Haha. I don't think friends is exactly the right word for it. It's more like the Heathers are people I work with and our job is being popular and shit.

As I closed my diary I saw Martha walk up to me. "Hey Veronica!" she said. "Hey!" I replied. "You sure do look beautiful these days." she said examining my new outfit. "Aww thank you, but it's still the same old me." I said. "Are you sure?" she said quickly diverting her eyes to the floor. "Look I'm sorry I flaked on movie night last week, I just have a lot going on." I said placing a hand on her shoulder. "Oh I get that, your with the Heathers now. That's exciting!" she said tapping me. "It's whatever. We'll hang soon. I promise." I replied.

"Veronica! Heather says "haul ass to the table pronto"." I turn and saw Heather Duke standing there in her green blazer. "How very." I said looking at Martha and quickly following behind Heather quickly noticing she gave Martha a dirty look.

"Veronica. I need a forged note in Ram Sweeney's hand writing. Your going to need something to write on. Heather bend over!" Heather Chandler with her hair curled and tied with a tight red bow, demanded as Heather Duke quickly arched her back for me to write on. I took my dairy and opened to a clean page and placed it on Heather's back and waited for the words to come from Heather's mouth.

Hello beautiful. I've been watching you and thinking about us in the old days. I hope you can come to my homecoming party this weekend. Miss you, Ram. xo

"What's this for anyway?" I asked as I added the finishing touch. "I just found out Ram use to hang out with Martha Dumptruck." Heather said laughing. "Well yea in kindergarten we all did." I said ripping the note out of the book. "Well we all didn't kiss on the kickball field." Heather Duke said. "Oh yea I remember. Ram kissed Martha Dumptruck, it was disgusting." Heather McNamara said with her yellow brackets hitting each other. "Perfect." Heather Chandler said taking the note from my hand.

"It would be so awesome to be in the middle of a Heather Chandler-Veronica Sawyer sandwich." I heard someone say. "Hell yea, punch it in!" someone replied.

"Ram." Heather said holding her hand in the air to get his attention. "Be a sweetie and give this note to Martha Dumptruck?" she said handing him the note I just wrote. "What? No!" I said but no one heard me. "Since when do you talk to that lard ass?" Ram said walking away with the note. "Oh don't read it. She's having an extra heavy flow this month and wanted some advice from my gyno." Heather Chandler said as Ram began to open the note. "Eww! Gross!" Kurt said as Ram dropped the note. I quickly bent down and picked it up. "What are you doing?" Heather Chandler asked me. "Please don't do this. At least not to Martha." I answered. "Comon' Veronica, it will give her shower nozzle masterbation material for weeks." Heather Duke chimed in. "Shut up Heather!" Heather Chandler said. "Sorry Heather." Heather said quickly. "Martha has had a thing for Ram for like 12 years now. This would destroy her." I said turning back to Heather.

"Are we gonna have a problem? You got a bone to pick? You've come so far why now are you pulling on my DICK? I'd normally slap your face off, and everyone here could watch. But I'm feeling nice here's some advice listen up biotch." Heather Chandler said. As if straight from a musical number all three Heather started to attack me verbally. "That freaks not you friend I can tell in the end if she had the shot she would leave you to rot." she said. "Of course if you don't care fine go braid her hair maybe "Sesame Street" is on." Heather McNamara said. Heather Duke took the note out of my hand and handed it right to Martha. I tried to take it back but it was too late, she had already read the note. Martha quickly ran up to me. "Look Veronica. Ram invited me to his homecoming party! This proves he's been thing about me!" she said showing me the note I had recently writing. Looking at her and then looking back at the Heathers I thought I knew what was best. "Color me stoked." I said hoping I don't ruin my shot with the most popular clique in school. "I'm so happy!" Martha said running away. "Ohh...." Heather Duke was about to say something but was rudely interrupted. "SHUT UP HEATHER!" Heather Chandler yelled at her. "Just remember Veronica, it's my candy store." Heather Chandler said. After they finally finished making a scene, they went back to the table with Kurt and Ram but I just stayed behind, leaning against a wall.