My thoughts put into words.

Never

When I confessed you told her you didn't know. You blamed the devil. To me you might as well be the devil. You said you didn't know what you were doing. That it didn't happen much.

To me it felt like it never stopped. Like you never left me alone. The only time I was truly happy was when I was sleeping during the day or when I was out which was never. I hated you. I hate you. You ruined me. You ruined everything.

I would never do this to you. Ever. I wouldn't ever wish this upon anybody. You ruined me. My innocence. My childhood. My father figure. My life. My mind. My happiness. My way of thinking. My trust. My everything.

To everybody close to me I am happy. Whole.

To everybody close to our family we are perfect. A perfect christian household who gets along amazingly.

Little do they know how I cry for hours in my room thinking of what you used to do to me. How you came into my life after my dad left. How I called and considered you my dad but all you did was ruin my life in exchange. I starved my self. I cut myself.

I was depressed, suicidal and dangerously underweight yet nobody noticed because we are the perfect family.

But what they didn't know was that my step father sexually abused me for years.