𝚃𝚞𝚛𝚋𝚞𝚕𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚎 || 𝑊𝑜𝑜𝑠𝑎𝑛

-2-

-'Hover the black night sky'-

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Ever since San was a small child, he always had days where he just didn't have the motivation to do anything. He felt as though it were drowning him. It wasn't his fault though. His father started to hurt him, in more ways than one. It started when he was only 8.

Sans mother, the love of his father had died. His father was so depressed, he didn't leave his room for days. He wouldn't eat, he wouldn't even take care of his children. San overtook the role of being the caretaker.

San's father started to wither away before San's eyes and there was nothing that he could do about it. He tried so hard to get his father to do more, even if was just in the family room to watch a show. Anything, he didn't want to lose his father like he had lost his mother.

After 3 months or so of his father's depression, he finally got up and started moving again. San was happy and proud of his father, he made sure to tell his father that every single day.

"Papa, I'm proud of you for getting up and moving again." The small boy exclaimed as he saw his father getting out of bed and making his way into the kitchen. His father did not respond, he only moved to the fridge and grabbed a pack of bears that had been sitting in there.

His father walked into the family room and sat on the couch in front of the television. He didn't say anything, he just went about his day as if he hadn't been neglecting his children for 3 months straight.

San frowned and walked away. He made his way to his little sister's room. "Sannie?" She asks softly. Said boy nodded, turning his head slightly in response. "Is papa doing better now? I saw him go into the kitchen." She continued.

"I'm not sure Sunhee, I'm not sure," San replied as he continues to frown. Sunhee only nods to show her understanding.

Things continued like that for about a week until they started to escalate. Sans's father became out of control, he started yelling and throwing things and even hitting. He wouldn't take care of the poor kids. However, San still believed in his father. San would go out of his room every day and tell him how proud they were of his father.

There were times when San would get so badly beaten that he wouldn't even remember it. He would wake up the next day with pains and bruises and no recollection of how he had gotten them.

Life stayed the same, never changing. It was like they were in hell. Months would move on at a slow pace and after school every day, San would dread going home. San only wished to be shipped off to a boarding school somewhere in the world and never have to come back.

Sunhee would feel the same way, but she never expressed it. She kept it buried deep within herself to be strong for both San and her father. Sunhee became a quiet child who wouldn't talk to anyone, in fear that they would beat her the way her father beat San. She hated loud noises and never liked talking to anyone.

Sunhee had been selectively mute ever since her father started to change. She wouldn't talk to anyone other than San. He was the only one she felt comfortable talking to. She wanted to talk to people but, in a way, she was glad she couldn't. She feared everyone and everything.

Years had flown by for Sunhee, each day the same. Get up, get dressed, go to school, come home, clean, do homework, shower, get ready for the next day and then go to bed. She never went out. Never made friends. She never did anything other than clean and do homework.

Sunhee hated her life it was dull. That was until she turned 16 when her father "suddenly" passed away. Sunhee laughed at the thought of her father "suddenly" passing away. He had been killing himself since his wife had died.

Sunhee and San decided they would take everything they had and move back to their home in Korea. They were both ecstatic to be moving away from the hell they knew to be America. After 4 months of preparing for their father's funeral, they both moved away and never looked back.

San was 18 at that point so he was legally able to be the prime caretaker of Sunhee. They settled into their new home, and it was perfect timing, the new school year was starting in about 2 weeks. That gave them time to settle in and get ready for the new start.

Sunhee had adjusted well, she was making herself at home in her new apartment with her brother and they decided they were going to keep things simple at first. However, as the days went on, they started to get bored of the bland household. Sunhee couldn't remember the last time she was allowed to design something, so she begged her brother.

After 2 days of non-stop begging, San finally gave in. He allowed Sunhee to do as she pleased with the house, which turned out to be done wonderfully. The apartment was organized, very organized, chaos.

San still suffered from severe PTSD from all the beatings and harsh words spoken to him as a child.

As for Sunhee, she suffered from almost every mental illness in the book. PTSD, anxiety, depression, OCD, mysophobia, ADHD, bipolar disorder. She never talked about her mental health because, well she was selectively mute.

She took many different medications to keep her from lashing out or falling into a dark depressive episode. She had many times where she would forget to take her medications and would completely shut down.

The last time she had fallen into a depressive episode was the worst. She stayed in bed a refused to move or get help. She didn't talk, not even to San. She eventually was admitted into a hospital for about a week, where she hated it. She can still remember the smell of the cleaning supplies, the itch of the bedsheets, and the uncomfortable feeling of the socks that were 3 sizes too big for her.

San on the other hand had PTSD, mysophobia, depression, OCD, and anxiety. Not nearly as many as mental illnesses as Sunhee but that doesn't make them any easier to handle daily. San would forget to take his medications some days and all hell would break loose for him. He would have panic attacks if something wasn't clean, and he would have to have everything perfect around him. If he forgot his mask and gloves while going somewhere, he just wouldn't go in. He would sit in the car or just go back home.

You could say that life for the Choi siblings was not easy, and it was never easy. From their mother dying of cancer, to their father being an alcoholic asshole who beat his children, to his death, to them moving. Life had been hard ever since they were little.

Even with all the shit, they had gone through, they managed to stay strong and help each other when they could. They made time for each other and cared greatly for the other. They made sure that if something was out of place, it would be fixed. They kept the house clean and neat.

They both knew the other's triggers and the things that could make them happy. They knew everything about each other, they were protective, and they would never let anything happen to the other.

Life with the Choi siblings was tough, for sure, but they knew that they had to stay strong for each other. That's why it was so much easier when their father passed, and they had to move. They knew they had each other. Even in their darkest times, it was as if they were the light that lit up the darkness, breaking the dark storm clouds and easing the turbulence. 

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Okay!! 

Thank you for reading!! 

wear your masks, eat your food and protect that mental health!! ✨💕