𝐑𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍𝐀𝐆𝐄𝐑𝐒

30 | love was meant to hurt

olivia stiles.
• 1 step forward, 3 steps back - olivia rodrigo

Everytime my father decided to hurt my mother, a piece of my heart got poisoned. I feel like my perception of love was quite distorted, not quite real. I feel like things turned around for me when Rafael came by. His love was passionate, it felt raw. I feel like i'm the only person in the world that could understand and heal him. I felt like he needed me more than she needed him. But perhaps it was just the opposite.

once a december.

When Olivia was a little girl, just hoping for a good santa visit, warm cookies on the table and her daddy's warmth, things were a lot more simple. The whole family would gather around the table and there was not a care in the world. Atleast the smell of warmth stayed clear in her mind, but the sound of harsh voices did as well. They echoed across her mind, even if she ran off to her room. Christmas in their household wasn't exactly as loveable as she wanted it to be. Sometimes those harsh words of his rang in her head even if she was sleeping.

The sound of breaking glass awoke Olivia, on the night of Christmas Eve. She grabbed the sheets, watching Chase sleep beside her. When they fought, Olivia wanted to sleep with her older brother for comfort. His presence didn't protect her from the screaming coming from the kitchen, the crying baby brother Olivia wished she could soothe. But she was just a kid herself. Her bare feet reached the wooden floor, her pajama pants dragging across as she looked through the door carefully. Her mother always looked the same. The messy hair, the tired face and the strong will to protect her children. Olivia's father looked oddly similar to Chase- Just a more torn over version, the broken down alcoholic one. Olivia's eyes watered instantly, as he rose his hand towards her mother. In a blink of an eye, Chase got up like no one else.
"Daddy's hurting mom again-" She whispered, a tear rolling down her cheek. Chase was not born strong and cold, he was once a fragile child as well. And the look in his eyes confirmed that everytime.
"Don't go there-" Olivia begged, looking at the scar on top of his eyebrow. Once when he was really angry, he let it out on Chase. Pushing him towards their closet, he caused an open wound. Christopher told the doctors that Chase fell down his bike. Her cries were purely nothing to the 11 year old boy. Olivia admired him for his bravery, everytime he ran to stick up for their mother.
"How dare you use up all of the money we saved for their presents?!" A strong feminine voice echoed. "Was alcohol worth it?" She kept asking, her voice breaking each time.
"Don't fucking accuse me, you know I didn't do shit!" He pushed over a chair with force, breaking it's leg. Olivia jumped back, the tears flooding her view.
"What has turned of you, I thought you changed! I asked for you to buy those presents, I begged you even!"
"Fuck you bitch, you know they're not mine, you're a cheating slut"
"Don't speak that way- They're all yours, please, Chris-"
"Don't cuss at mom" Chase interrupted, but his voice was of a weak child in Christopher's eyes. Olivia's mother grabbed him close, she could tell she was shaking. It wasn't the presents that mattered to Olivia, it was her mother and brother's health.
"What are you gonna do little shit?" His sinister voice sent shivers down Olivia's spine.
"Christopher, stop-"
Chase's push wasn't really effective, but the punch back he recieved was. Olivia couldn't bare to see her brother with a black eye, the screaming muffling in the background as her little brother cried and cried. She felt so overwhelmed, the brown-haired girl curled up in a ball, soothing herself with her covers, begging to God for it to stop. That's why she doesn't believe in God.

December 24th. 5:22 pm.

For others, Christmas associates with family and good times. But for Olivia, it's quite a painful memory. She tends to avoid speaking of it, but sometimes she craves to. It actually didn't feel like a close family and friends time, more like a self isolation one. She watched the christmas lights flicker on her favourite coffee shop, looking at the closed sign.
"Right it's Christmas Eve." She whispered under her breath. The girl brushed a strand of her brown hair under her ear, licking her lips from the cold. She felt a strong presence coming towards her, lifting up her eyes she looked at a tall, asian man standing right beside her. She recognized him, it was Biken. And it was the same coffee shop they had met before.
"So we meet again." He spoke coldly, also looking at the closed sign. It brought a small smile on Olivia's lips, as she looked down at the ground.
"Sure we did."
"Not really a fan of Christmas Eve?"
"Not really." Olivia felt thankful that someone was actually talking to her, loosening her tight mood a bit.
"Are you waiting for someone?" He asked, raising his eyebrow.
"Well- Yeah my boyfriend. Rafael."
"Yeah yeah I know who he is." Biken rolled his eyes. He seemed quite odd to Olivia, at times quite annoyed. Maybe it was his natural emotion, but Olivia thought nothing about it.
"And are you waiting for someone?"
"No. I'm enjoying my own company."
"So you're not a very sociable person?"
"And you are. And that's particularly why you're annoying."
"Oh wow okay?" She just chuckled, his words not really hitting deep. He just looked at her with his bushy eyebrows almost making a unibrow. It made Olivia cringe, but he was quite amusing to be with.
"Did I offend you?"
"No."
"Then I should've tried harder."
"You know you don't have to be such an ass all the time?"
His eyes only lifted up, but the expression on his face didn't change. Biken honestly resembled a cranky old man who's quite unhappy with his life, so he reflects it on other people. A shadow overcame her, as her hand was grabbed tightly by someone. By the grip she could've recognized it was Rafael, his cold hand and the veins reflecting.
"What are you doing here talking to this scumbag?" His voice was full of confidence, as his grip stayed clear on her hand. It even started to hurt a bit, but she enjoyed his protective side.
"It's just Biken-" She was instantly cut over as Rafael shoved her to the side.
"Listen here you airhead, find yourself someone else to "chit-chat" but not my fucking girlfriend, you got me you fucking worthless piece of shit?" His words were aggresive, by the tone of his voice Olivia could tell he wasn't exactly in a good mood. Biken facial expression didn't change, he didn't seem one bit intimidated, but he took a step back.
"You spit when you talk." Biken pointed out, as Rafael's eyes widened.
"My spit is worth more than you." He pointed out, grabbing Olivia's arm tightly to walk off to the side.