My Secret Desire

Prologue

                                    Deianira
        All I wished for these past few years was for him to suffer. I craved seeing the look of betrayal on his face. The look of defeat. But, as I watched his body lay dead on the floor, tears of regret from every crime I wished upon him flooded my eyes. It was then when I knew for sure that I loved him. He lit up a snare in my soul that I never knew could burn. I hated how much he understood me. Sometimes, I even felt that he was my only motivation to live. To me, he was the breath of life I needed to survive. Without him, I'm only flesh and bones.
        Azriel Montanari was a murder. A traitor. He was dark, but he was beautiful. He was charming and well spoken. Even in his silence, his mind spoke volumes. I hated him, but I loved him more. Our twisted love was never meant to come this far. I always knew our love was destined to die, but never like this.
        I've dealt with many losses in my life, but none have affected me quite this much. This is why I know what I have to do. If you happen to get a hold of my most prized possession, of which you are reading now, know that I may be dead. Don't grieve over my death, but know that I lived fighting for the man I loved. I still love.
        I made a promise to my Azriel and I intend on keeping it. Maybe not in the way he thought. Promise me that after, after I go,  you'd live the rest of your life doing the things you love. Don't stop living just because I did.
        Oh foolish Azriel, don't you know that you were the only thing I loved. No book, no piece of ivory, no finances, nothing could compare the way your love meant to me. The way it made me feel. Nothing in this world is worth living for. If it means I have to die to be able to see you again, I am willing to give my life up for you. And when I go down, I'm taking them down with me. My final battle.
See you soon,
                       Deianira