My Mind's a Mess

I spoke up

I relapsed at 3am
Yesterday
I cried to myself
This afternoon telling
My group therapy
For this girl noticed
And told me I had to tell
Or she would
So I found myself
Telling the worst of the worst
And I bursted out in tears
Trying to hold it all in
Trying not to let them see
Who I really was inside
It was so hard
Since I am incredibly broken inside
The medicine isn't working
I was better without it
I felt like I was
Suffocating in the therapy room
I felt like I was
Drowning in my own tears and fears
I felt like a couldn't breathe today
That I was going to collapse
On the ground
That the bullets inside me
Were real
That the poison
Seeped to my heart
I was dying
But all you saw
Was a perfect happy girl
...
Until I spoke up.