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January
A lot seems to irritate me. I am no longer capable of holding certain shit in. I'm not entirely sure what exactly will happen to my sanity at this point. I'm not entirely sure if this is my actual character or if I just act this way because I'm trapped by the thoughts that I literally hate the most.. Nothing is in my favor. I don't cry anymore. My life would've been better had that monster stayed away from my mother. And that was only the beginning of it all. This year has been a series of moderates and lows , the highlight of my year pass too quickly it wasn't really a high at all but I promise even after being devastated I picked myself up, I felt.. I swear.. I felt on top of the world. But then I came crashing down, again and again. Lower and lower each day after that past December, and I still haven't gotten up. After all that has happened I am not fit to be in this world, I can no longer control my emotions. My zodiac sign is Gemini and my life is centered around that detail which has led me into the worst situations. Because I am two halves I am never really whole, no matter how much I try to be sometimes I am fearful of the voices inside of my head, simply because I am no longer depressed but they do not go away. Ever.

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