Not Lost, Not Yet

One

I'm on a boat trip to a random island in the middle of nowhere. Correction: I'm alone, over the wide-open ocean with a boat full of strangers, and in five hours I'm going to land on the most forgotten island in the middle of nowhere. Why you may ask? Well, I think the only logical explanation is that I've gone insane. 

The truth is, I'm kind of boring. Of course, it's 1943, and women have more power than ever, but still, I feel like without a husband I'm worth nothing. My friends used to tell me that the boys would never go for a girl as imaginative as I. Sometimes I wish I could have married and led a life that society says is worth living. Life would be simple. 

Other times, I don't want life to be so simple. I want to take risks. I want to explore. Maybe from taking this trip, I can contain that little masculine adventurous Emma inside of me. 

Though I'm creative, I'm still kind of a downer. I'm boring if I can put it in a way that's at least a little light. I feel so trapped in this tiny, small girl with dyed hair and a perfect smile. I hate it. I hate it so much. 

I'm getting weird looks on this boat. Maybe it's because I'm not accompanied by a man. I try to ignore it, but it's hard to get weird looks for the first time. I guess that's the masculine life, right? I honestly can't remember what I'm trying to prove anymore. 

As I watch the waves roll by, I start to daydream. I wonder what's on the island I'm about to spend however long I want on. I doubt there are many people there, judging by the little number of strangers on this boat. 

After a while, I lie down in my own bed. And I start thinking. 

"Oh, no, Emma Perez, you can avoid this! You're a strong man now. You're just as good as any of these people," I mutter under my breath. 

But really, I'm weak. For all my life I've been the short girl. The smart girl. The girl who grew up without a family, and only had a mo-

No, no, we can't talk about that. I'm here in the middle of nowhere to get away from stuff like that. That's why I bought a one-way ticket. 

I actually am starting to regret buying this ticket from my best friend Olivia's husband. I think he's some major criminal sometimes. But this is a leap of faith. It's my leap of faith. Olivia and her husband can go live their boring married lives. At least I'm trying to enjoy my life more than I enjoyed the last 17 years of it. 

I get up and walk to the mirror hanging above my dresser, and I freshen up a bit of my makeup, and I decide to take out my hair for a change. When it falls, it immediately goes back to its natural curls and the black roots of my hair are starting to appear on the top of my head, replacing the dyed blonde colour that I was supposed to have to look more "American". My hair is so damaged from the blonde that the tips are breaking, so I take my pocket knife and cut my hair right to my shoulders. Leap of faith, I think as I even my now-short hair out. 

"Ms. Perez!" Someone shouts, and I jump in fright. There, in the doorway to my room, is one of the boat employees. His eyes are soft and brown, and his hair is blonde. I try to hide my hair by pulling it back, but it's too late. 

"Oh, um-" I stutter. 

"It's Henry," he says, closing the door behind him so no one else hears us speaking to each other, since it's technically not allowed. 

"Henry, please don't make a big deal out of this, I'm still a lady," I explain to him, but he folds his arms, and then lights the cigarette in his mouth. "Oh, Henry, please don't smoke in my room, it's a dreadful smell and never comes off of anything."

"Little girl, you listen to me," he says, towering over me. He must be at least a foot and a half taller than me. I'm only 5"2. Plus, he's a lot more muscular. But I'm feeling exhilarated and a bit too spontaneous.

"No, Henry, you listen to me. Your gonna get out of my room. Your gonna through that cigarette in the trash where it belongs, because no one wants to smell that. And lastly, your gonna never speak to me again, or I'll get you kicked off of this boat," I snap. 

Henry looks startled by my confidence. I doubt he's used to women talking to him that way, and with that evil face and disgusting cigarette smell, I doubt he's used to women talking to him at all. 

I know I've overstepped when he takes out his pocketknife. I take a step back and put my hands up. My heart races. This is why I don't act like a man. He starts to approach me, and he's muttering curses under his breath until he snaps.

"You little BITCH. How DARE  you speak to me that way. You little-" 

Suddenly, Henry gets a funny look on his face, and then he falls to his knees, and then to the ground. Behind Henry is an unfamiliar girl holding an empty bottle of bourbon.

The girl looks startled. She's about my age, and she's a few inches taller than me. Her eyes widen when she sees me. I don't know if it's the hair or not, but she really gives me a good, long stare. Luckily, I'm also staring at her. 

The only word I can think of to describe her is gorgeous. Her hair is long, but it's down, and it's wavy and blonde. She's very tanned, so I bet she's been on a few of these boat trips. Her eyes are a beautiful green, and she's not wearing a dress, she's wearing a small skirt instead and a short top. 

"Hello?" she says, and then she tries to smile, but we both end up laughing instead. 

"Do you think he's okay?" I ask. 

"Yeah, he's fine," the girl says. She pokes him with her boot, and he gets up, sees her, and darts out of the room. 

"Um, thank you," I say, stepping closer to her. 

"No problem. Honestly, I always have to keep an eye out for these guys. They respect me, thank god, and I think they know I'll hurt them," she laughs. "You're the Perez girl right?"

"Yeah. Well, it's actually Emma," I say. 

"Okay, well hello Emma. I'm Davidson," she says, but then stops herself. "No, sorry, I actually just like to use my last name to threaten the guys. It's Maria. Not Mary, for the love of God, I can not handle the name "Mary". ANYWAY, it's nice to meet you."

"You too," I say. Maria brushes her hair off of her shoulders. Somehow her movements are just as elegant as her. As a naturally incredibly awkward human being, I envy the ability to move swiftly and softly. 

"Hey, and also, I just wanted to say that I love your hair. It's so pretty," Maria says before she leaves the room, leaving me confused and in a way, dazed. What is it about Maria that makes my heart beat so damn fast?

I feel like I should be more affected by a near-death experience like being threatened at knifepoint, but really Maria took my mind off of that. 

Shaking my head, I get up to go to stare at the waves again, and forget about everything that just happened. 

~~~Note~~~

How'd you like that first chapter? Be nice!! I might be torturing poor Emma Perez, but that doesn't mean y'all have to torture me!!!

love, maia <333