I Dare Not ~ A Dream SMP Poem

Poem

All I ask is you remember
What it's like to be alive
So when you come on down to hell
You can bring with you your life

The memories of another
The broken pieces of your friends
Lie burning in the shadows
Their corpses fraying at the ends

You knew I'd never guess
You were the one poisoning the well
I'm so easily led, so naive I'd stray to believe anything said to me

It's not your place to say, because your hands are so bloodied
So be it, my honey taken from my hive
Without warning, without compensation
We perform and conform to your twisted fantasy in front of your eyes without hesitation.

Your suit is bright scarlett
Your hair is platinum blonde
You have the features of a killer
From way way beyond

The deeds that the moral code of
Honor dare not claim as their own, for
It is our own foibles that break them
I feel as though I am aflame

The body on the news last week
Was me, all me, but not without
The key to locking away memory
And the river runs crimson.

Just as it did that fateful night
Where you and your friends
Went to set that building alight
The building of fright, the building of fear
The building of everything that was once here
It broke and it bruised but you're so 'abused' that it passed over your head, barely made a dent in your resolve

Burning to ashes, you watched me fall
Farther and farther down the rabbit hole
Though this is no Alice
And this is not Wonderland
This watches and waits
For its opportunity to seize the day

That I burst into a ball of flames,
The same way your home did when you blew up the place
The way the leaves flutter around your feet makes you wonder,

Was that the same street that once held the house in which your best friends lived?
If it was, would you drop to one knee and pray that they see
From heaven above that you are not mean, no no, just misunderstood
Mistaken for he who is clouded in greed
Hark at the bitter irony

That this is you, this is me
This is someone I wish I'd never seen
For the second I laid eyes on someone so unsightly,
I should have known how incredibly badly

It would all end, for I have dealt with shame
I've found peace within myself and now I dare not speak your name
For if I do, that undoes everything I've worked towards,

I dare not see you,
I dare not hear you,
I dare not go anywhere near you.

I pass you in the SMP and I turn the other way,
I stare into your pure black soul and wonder how on earth I was affiliated with such a harmful individual

I suppose that is the curse I bear,
The one with which I cannot tear
My eyes away from something so bad
That light can't even get there

You sit in your dark room at night
And the only source of light is the black candle you burn
Over the urn of someone you loved long ago
A family member? A friend? An acquaintance? An enemy?
I dare not ask.

We'll never know what you did
Have you abused and misused the power that you choose
To hold in your heart?
Your black, black heart

That beats not blood but thick tar,
Clogging your veins and paying your karma
You're deceitful, manipulative and misleading
You give us no warning for heeding

If by morning you still want friends then keep this to yourself
You'll find that you have more
More love, more acceptance,
You'll still have the weight of the trauma you cause but either way, you'll have more
You'll never again have to wonder

Why you yourself are not six feet under.