Self-Control [2] (Twilight]

8.

It was around a week later when the one to do something stupid wasn't Edward, but Bella.

These days we were no longer fazed when Alice would get a vision about the girl risking her life. She always walked out alive from whatever she did.

However, this time, Alice sped in the middle of the room, panicking, eyes wide and stuttering over and over, "Oh, my God, oh my God"

It must have been something very serious because Alice never stuttered when telling us her visions, that and because Jasper appeared at her side in a blink of an eye, rubbing her shoulders soothingly.

"What is it?" Jasper asked softly but intently.

Carlisle and Esme entered the room, serious and worried expressions in their faces as they stared at Alice expectantly.

Rose sighed, irritated. "Now what?"

"Bella, she is...She-" Alice began, horror etched in her face. Rose rolled her eyes and looked away but not even Rose could deny she was shocked by the next words leaving Alice's lips, "-Jumped from a cliff. She's..." Alice shook her head, looking as if wanting to cry, falling back to the couch. "She killed herself"

Jasper slowly sat down at her side, looking as shocked as we all felt.

I looked away. My only thought was about Edward.

~8~

I went out to clear my head.

Bella was dead. This was not the way we wanted Edward to move on.

The room felt tense and grim as I entered back again at the house.

Esme watched me enter, putting a hand on my shoulder, squeezing reassuringly, smiling slightly.

I returned the smile because it was difficult not to smile to our mother figure.

"I'm going out for a bit" Esme informed me, sighing through her nose. "The rest are somewhere around the house. Please, don't isolate yourself"

"I won't" I reassured, but not looking at her eyes. "Don't worry about me"

Once upon a time, that would have triggered my gift, that would have made Esme's eyes turn cloudish despite of me not looking into her eyes but with Eleazar's help, I had been working better on my powers, calling upon them when I wanted to and not whenever they wanted.

He had been right, my gift controlled me when it had to be the other way around.

And I managed.

Esme's lips turned up, softening. "I always worry. That's never going to change"

Esme cupped softly and motherly my cheek before walking out.

I smiled softly to myself, watching her go.

That I knew. It was in her nature worrying, loving us like we were her real children because to her, we were.

I walked toward the living room, shrugging off my coat, pausing when I noticed Rosalie pacing with a phone pressed to her cheek, a crease in her eyebrows, disrupting her usual bitchy face.

I was going to walk away, uninterested to listen to her talking to the phone until a familiar voice from the other line reached my ears.

"Why, Rose? Did something happen?"

Edward.

My head snapped to her direction, seeing the grimace playing on her lips, grip tightening on the phone.

I walked closer to her, getting Rosalie to look my way, meeting each other's eyes, she looked worried.

"I, uh-" Rosalie stuttered.

"Tell me, Rosalie" Edward demanded. Rosalie didn't answer, looking at me for help. I shrugged, not wanting to be the one to give him bad news. Rosalie pursed her lips. At the silence, Edward's voice raised, fierce. "Tell me!"

"Alice had a vision" Rosalie finally began, biting her lip. "She saw Bella throw herself off a cliff... She's dead, Edward"

I closed my eyes looking away, knowing that's going to hurt Edward.

There was silence from his end for a couple of seconds, "I... don't believe it"

"Alice is there now" I spoke, letting Edward know I was here too, my voice soft. "Thought she could help with the funeral or something"

Rosalie and I looked at each other.

"Come home, Edward" Rosalie pleaded, "It's time"

We didn't receive a response, the only thing we did was the line going dead.

Edward hung up.

Rosalie lowered the phone, worried.

I sighed.

What are you going to do now, Eddie?

~8~

Turns out, Bella was alive.

Alice called very relieved, telling us the news.

Carlisle immediately called Edward after we received the news.

Edward didn't believe him, too much in pain to understand the girl he loved actually was breathing.

The pain of losing the reason he kept going must be unbearable. I never want to pass through that.

My back pressed tightly against the wall as everyone wondered about Edward in worry.

I had an idea of where he could be.

And it was a very bad idea, specially since I was certain he got the idea from my thoughts.

The Volturi scared the crap out of me. One of the few vampires I encountered on my first weeks as a newborn warned me about them, my sire spoke with venom about them, but they both seemed to agree with one thing. They enforced the vampiric law, they could condemn you or spare you, the latter being the most rare because if you got their attention, they already had your sentence ready.

Edward had gone through a lot already, I didn't think he'd have the will to end his own life, he had to find a way for someone else to do it.

Since Bella entered our lives, the Volturi and every warning I've got about them would swirl around my head over and over. Edward must have read what I knew from them, what they were capable of.

I had the feeling he was there.

And I could only feel guilt for that. It would be my pessimistic mind's fault if it got Edward choosing them to end his existence.

I had to stop him.

Even if that meant facing my fears.