If only you knew everything

Not close to normality

Hey guys, sorry if I made you cry my last chapter ^.^ well here is chapter 6, I've had writers block a little so it may such ass .-. Anyway here it is!

~~~Pewdie's POV~~~

I watched as they pulled Cry off of me, injecting him with some kind of medicine to make him pass out. I rub my throat feeling a stinging.

"Here let me see how much damage he did." The nurse said as she turned my head upwards and examined my neck.

"Hmmm... He left some pretty bad marks, may be there for a while." I sighed as she said that.

Why did he do that?... Did he seriously want to die that much? I watched him as his chest rouse steadily and peacefully, but you could still see the anger on his face. Even after what he did, I stayed by his side until I was suddenly woken from a sound sleep, saying the hospital was closing for visitors and I needed to leave. Even after all the begging I did they wouldn't let me stay, especially after he tried strangling me, they weren't going to let me stay at all after he did it. I walked outside and got in the car driving back to Cry's house. As soon as I got in I went upstairs and grabbed the knife, cutting without even thinking. I looked down to see the damage and saw I went deep. I smirked and the gash in my arm, I told myself I would get better and would cut deeper. I'm such a fucking hypocrite, I wanted Cry not to cut himself but here I am doing so. I hate myself so much, I'm turning out to be everything I went up against and tried to prevent others from doing. I sat on the floor watching the blood leave my arm and go onto the floor. Jesus what is Cry going to do when he sees I cut myself because of him? But I don't see him anytime soon being able to face me. The thought of Cry choking me and being mad at me triggered me to cut more. I Can't do it on my arm it's too noticeable. I took off my pants, moving to my legs. Hopefully the ones on my arms will heal or be a little less red and not have scabs and I'll just keep doing it on my legs. The feeling of cutting on my leg wasn't as great as on my arms, but it would do. I heard the phone ringing, and saw on the called ID it was the hospital. I quickly picked up hearing the familiar voice of the girl I talked to many times on the phone to check in on Cry.

"Hi, I know it's past visiting hours but Ryan wants to see you. His new therapist is trying to figure out why he attempted and they aren't getting anything out of him. When he just says "bring Felix here I want to see him". So could you please come down?"

"Of course anything for him."

I hung up the phone and was about to run out the door when I saw a glimpse of my arm as I reached for the doorknob. Shit I don't even have pants on what am I doing running out the door? I wash off all the blood and put bandages on my arm and grabbed my brofist shirt and a pair of skinny jeans. As I went to put on my jeans I winced in pain, forgetting about the fresh cuts. I can't wear tight clothing over it, I'll have to wear my baggy jeans. I swiftly put them on and went out the door and sped off to the hospital. I walked up to the desk and got directed into Cry's room. I walk in crossing my arms trying to hide the cuts, I thought I had some time for them to heal before he wanted to see me again.

"Hey Cry... You wanted to see me?"

"Why... Why did you call the ambulance? Why didn't you let me die? And answer my question don't avoid it." He was looking down at his stitches and wouldn't look away from them.

"Cry... I'm sorry I didn't know what to do. The love of my life was laying there limp, barely breathing. What else was I supposed to do? What would you do if you found me in that situation?"

"I-I guess I would have done the same..." I heard a hunt of shame in his voice and he said that. I sat down next to him on the bed. He moved over a bit giving me more room. I ran my fingers through his head, sighing. It was a calm moment, until Cry broke the silence.