Yellow Dress Gray Girl

Chapter 1?

Everyday all the same, yourself not as much. The alarm hammering your head every morning to let you be aware of the on-coming traffic of responsibilities. Pulling yourself from the seemingly fluidized bed, A sea of comfort and protection you must pull yourself out of. Standing on shore the journey to the perfect outfit begins. The closet is staring back at you, beginning to lure you in while creating a euphoria that triggers your inner insecurities. You open the old, wooden sliding door and it creaks. You're stunned to see what's inside, An endless array of wardrobe choices. Each outfit, a different personality, flaunts a different aspect of your complex life. In a worldly sea of gray you see it, the bright sunflower yellow dress. Long and free flowing as it gently drapes over your smooth, olive skin with the grace of a swan in sweet waters. You smile brightly as you realize how perfectly it fits you but you know the world doesn't relate. The angelic optimism shown through your eyes, in your dress and all the way down to your matching yellow shoes shows as you finally say you're ready for the day. The blinding optimism has already spun your day in an extreme way.

Opening your room door confidently only to see the same dismal scene as the days before. The gray and green vintage rug resigns in the hall. As if there was a rotting carcass, the rug has attracted many unwanted creatures. Below the roach infested rug sits the wooden floor. For many years the world and its toxicity has taken the lovely lavender tinted and chestnut colored wooden blanks to another world. What once decorated the floor is now simply holding your feet, as you reluctantly take the first step. The homes you would see in a horror movie. Only this evil was real, you can feel how deeply it embedded itself into your floors and everything else around you. Just the thought of it even being within your reality makes your stomach jerk. The feeling of disgust wrenching at your gut cannot be ignored. You know the worst is only to come, your yellow dress will drain to gray and stained. With red.

The feelings must be set aside, as you grab the courage you've got and head down the deadening hall to your doom. Aimlessly you wander down, as the dismal hall begins to leach on your inner damage. You begin to feel the shards of reality that had been set in your soul ever so gently. Waiting for the right moment to puncture your spirits, and leave you deflated with hope. You begin to get light headed and start to stumble to your left, barely watching yourself and soon you realize this was a dangerous idea. Your eyes move from the floor which is now spinning to the wall. You see a rusted nail, that had reached out and was now holding with a tight grasp, the bottom of your dress. The ancient wall clinging to the bent nail as the rust dulls the shimmer, tearing the life from the dress. Your heart begins to race and your stomach is in knots, it feels as if time itself stopped as your heart drops. You're able to eventually snap back to reality and get back on your feet. As this happens a loud tear lets out a blood curdling scream. You become quiescent and your eyes lock in on the dress. After recovering from the shock, you grab the dress and carefully release it from the clutches of the wall.

Finally reaching the end of the seemingly endless hallway you are filled with relief. The color returns to your face, you cannot say the same for the collar near the hole in your sunflower dress. It shifted from a beautiful bright yellow to a musty and dull gold. You must continue on though, not to waste what light you have left in you. Stepping into the living room was something you normally wouldn't do, but you felt as if it was a necessity today. This room was always empty physically and spiritually. No mother or father, not siblings to be with, and if only there was a pet but there is not. Only an empty room with a broken couch and box t.v. covered in dust and cobwebs. You can't remember the last time the somber feelings were dusted from the walls and furniture. Maybe it was back in 1995 when love and safety died, and you were left without someone to raise you, to show you the good in the world.

Life had begun as they ended, and all that was left was your sunflower dress. Now damaged but not as you are less alive. The color wasn't lost, you simply never had it. It was never made to tint your cheeks rosy red, or allow your hair to glisten as the chocolaty locks were laid against the setting sun. Don't allow this to get you down, for you have something special. You have perseverance and an actual grasp on the worst, and not only accept it but also face it well aware that failure is a defendant. Resting on the couch your dress drapes over to protect from dust and grime, your skin never reaching the worn leather and painfully reassuring smell of death. One minute, blurs to an hour, and an hour to a day. Your dress is now almost as putrid and antique as the rest of the room. The small tear now expanded and stripped of color and light. The color now collapsed on itself and the ruffles turned to wrinkles. Although it took most of the beating, you don't leave unscaved. While you watch yourself, your mind begins to slow. Your entire being succumbs to the numb feeling. The pain and suffering thoughts climb up your body and into your mind. "BANG" you snap out of your sorrows and then, you run. Out of the house and down the street, farther and farther. So far from what you know yet never feeling more immersed in thought. You were still alive yes, but for the first time it's as if your soul has been brought to life. Have you ever had this feeling or something similar? Well our main character has and she is about to be brought to life.