Twice Shy {h.s. au}

IV.

Harry was not okay.

It was two days before Christmas, he'd been home for a little over two weeks, and he was still spending most of his days in his bed. He mulled finals week in his head over and over and over again, wishing things had gone completely different. He was heartbroken, he was angry with himself and at how he'd handled things, and he couldn't stop picturing Maggie's face when he told her how he felt.

But mostly he just missed Maggie.

He didn't really have any right to, seeing as they'd only spent a week together, but in the days following that horrible night, Harry found himself missing the days they most likely wouldn't get to have now that things had been screwed up so thoroughly. Working at the coffee house wouldn't be the same, seeing Maggie and taking her order—and that was if she would still come in after what happened—would definitely be awkward. He took comfort in the fact that they were studying two very different things at school and probably wouldn't cross paths in class or on campus, and despite his height he was very good at evading people, a skill he learned early during his school days when he saw classmates outside the confines of a classroom.

And yet he was still hiding out in his room away from his family. When his mother picked him up from the airport, she immediately knew something was wrong. Marlena had tried her best to get Harry to tell her what was bothering him, but he wouldn't budge, opting to stare silently out the car window instead. He'd pretty much been the same since then—hardly talking to his mothers or sisters, sleeping into the afternoon, and hardly ever turning the light on in his room. His family had left him to brood and wallow in peace these last few days, but now that Christmas was just two days away, they were starting to pester him.

It started with his mothers, first Marlena and then Tanya. Marlena came in with his favorite tea and asked how he was feeling, which resulted in Harry giving a muffled response against his pillow. She brushed her hand through his hair and scratched his back soothingly, trying to coax an explanation out of him. She would tell him that she and Jane were heading out to buy groceries or to do some last minute shopping in the city if he wanted to come, but he muttered a decline every time and flipped over so he wasn't facing her anymore.

Then Tanya came in, her approach to getting him out of bed not as gentle and a little more stern. She told Harry he couldn't do whatever he was doing anymore, throwing open the curtains in his room and forcing him to show his face around the house, saying that his sisters have been dying to spend time with their older brother. But he still wouldn't budge, only coming downstairs to grab something to eat and trudging back to his room shortly after.

And after his melancholy came the anger. He was angry at Maggie, at himself, at her ex boyfriend, at his mothers for trying to force him out of his room when he wasn't ready. Why couldn't they just let him be? He was doing them all a favor by avoiding them while he was in this foul mood.

He couldn't believe that he had actually begun to hope that things with Maggie could actually go somewhere. He was an idiot. No one jumped right into a new relationship after just getting out of one, Harry knew that.

But then why was she so tender with him? Maggie complimented him, she called him flower because she thought he was delicate and beautiful. Why did she give him such an intimate nickname if she was just using him? Couldn't she see how much he cared for her? If Maggie thought he was a flower, then she took him and crumpled him in her hand, plucking his petals off one by one until there was nothing left.

Harry's thoughts swirled around in his head in a cloud of anger and despair. Vaguely, he realized that he should've been spending time with his family. He'd missed them so much, and they were probably just the right people to make him feel better, but he couldn't bring himself to leave his bed, leave the darkness of his room for more than a few minutes to use the toilet.