Jalex Oneshots

Believe (Angst/Fluff)

Hey guys, sorry for lack of updates. I spent the last couple of weeks in a dark theatre (which was still brighter than my future) rehearsing for a show, which went really well. Wooo \(^o^)/

I had a breakdown last night and I wrote this oneshot as a way to get my feelings out I guess, and I felt like developing it further, so I did and now I'm putting it on the internet. Oops. It's pretty shit, but hey, I tried.

So yeah. Trigger warnings are for self harm, emotional abuse and physical abuse.

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When Alex started falling for Jack, he cussed out every God he knew of because he had sworn to himself that he was never, ever, ever going to fall in love.

Ever.

It was hard for Alex to believe in love when he rarely saw it growing up.

Sure, his parents did have moments where they kissed, hugged and did nice things together but more often than not, Alex would wake up to hear his parents screaming at one another over the silliest things. It had been happening for as long as Alex could remember and at first he was pissed because really? Couldn't they argue somewhere else, where it wouldn't disturb his beauty sleep? As the arguments started occurring more frequently, however, he knew something was wrong.

Age nine was when Alex began to notice that his mom didn't smile much around her husband. She looked unhappy, but maybe that was just because her beloved hamster had died and she was still grieving.

Age ten was when the arguing began to escalate, like that one time when his mother didn't want to visit Granny. Alex had never seen his dad as angry as he was now, screaming at his wife for apparently not giving a fuck about her family. There was no need for the rage, but Alex didn't know how to stop it, so he crawled under the kitchen table and hugged his knees, gripping onto his favorite teddy bear so tightly his knuckles were going pale. He closed his eyes, focusing on anything except the yelling next door and refused to move until the noise subsided.

Age eleven was the first time Alex gathered up the courage to ask his mother why dad was always in such a foul mood. He thought his mom would be calm about the topic and give a valid explanation. Instead, she scolded him for accusing her husband of such a thing. Normally, Alex wasn't sensitive to yelling, but his mother had always been so nice and caring, and this was the first time she made him cry.

Overtime, Alex became used to the constant fighting and learned to block it out until it was over, but when he became the main subject of majority of the arguments, he started to blame himself for everything that was wrong with his parents relationship.

The first time his father hurt him, Alex was twelve. Alex had arrived home from school and considered hanging out with Rian, but when he asked his dad if it was okay, he was accused of spending more time with friends than family. When Alex denied it, stood up for himself, he felt a swift blow to his side and fuck, it hurt. It hurt because his dad was strong and it hurt because Alex was weak but most of all, it hurt because it was his dad. His dad was supposed to protect him, love him. 

Why would anyone hurt someone, especially someone they're supposed to love?

Eventually, Alex got over it and convinced himself that if he behaved, it wouldn't happen again.

Wrong. Aged thirteen, Alex was laying face down on his bed, blinds closed, music blaring as loud as possible in an attempt to drown out the yelling downstairs. Several knocks sounded on his door, but the teenager didn't hear because of the loud music so when his father came barging into the room screaming and cussing, Alex was scared. What had he done now? Was it because of the music? He tried to stand up and shut off the music so he could hear what his dad was saying, but he was roughly shoved back onto the bed, making his head smack off the wall. Although Alex couldn't hear anything except electric guitars, he made out two words that were spat from his father's mouth. Pathetic. Useless. It seemed as if everyone thought the same way about Alex; quite a number of people at school had called him those names over the course of a month, but to hear his father, hear the man who was supposed to protect and love him, say those words was the first time that the teenager believed they were true, believed he was pathetic and useless.