In Her Eyes

Chapter IV

Shahmir had run off. He had seen his mother lying lifeless and his heart had told him to run and so he did. He ran until he left Lyallpur and the life that he had there behind in the past. He ran until he could only see a fraction of what life was from a distance so great that he did not have it in him to return. It wasn't until dark clouded over that reality cascaded upon Shahmir. Suddenly, his knees gave up and so he knelt. He wept and screamed until tears dried up on his cheeks and his lungs shut down and then he walked a little further. He came upon a lonely train station that only housed one train that seemed to be extending as far as his eyes could see. Without another thought, he climbed in and left the city of his father and his father and his father before him not to return until so many years later.

The inside was dark and smelled like burning lumber and coal. It was criminally silent inside. Such was the deafness of the silence that traveled wherever the train number 786 traveled that Shahmir did not realise until many moments later that the train was not silent at all, but alive with a crowd absolutely packed. Carriage after carriage, Shahmir dragged himself through men and women of all shapes and personalities. There was a man with unusually small eyes who smelled of ash and smoke as Shahmir passed him. There was a man who seemed to be mumbling some long forgotten song to a woman sitting beside him. There were a set of twins wearing a set of maroon shalwar kameez and matching hats. The only difference that Shahmir thought could tell them apart was a deep scar that only one of them bore on his face. There was also an old man who had a seat free next to him so Shahmir decided to sit there. Suddenly, the train took off and it didn't stop again for a time Shahmir did not seem to care enough to count. It was as if not hours or days, but weeks had gone by without anyone realising. The deafening sound the carriages made against the iron rails and the chaos that was inside it somehow silenced Shahmir's own demons for a while. Suddenly, he only had himself to ponder over. He decided to close his eyes for a second then a minute and before he knew it, he had drifted into a deep dream that was or was not.

The first time Shahmir dreamed about Tasneem, it was only for a second. She was wearing red and had her hair tied up. Before he could make sense of this unwoven reality, it was over. Shahmir woke up with his heart pumping out of his chest and his hands shaking. It was almost like as if he had known her for a time longer than his own existence.

While Shahmir slept, the train engraved with the number 789 would make soft stops at a number of small towns and villages before finally concluding at Delhi, the capital of British Raj and all that came before them. When Shahmir finally woke up, he found the train to be empty. He stepped down to find himself staring at a weirdly placed pole that simply read 'DELHI' painted in white against black.

Although Delhi had been reduced to only a fraction of its greatness at the time when Shahmir first came there, it was still - in all its flaws and neglects - a sight to behold. Mosques larger and more prestigious than the one he had seen at Lahore were erected every few blocks as if they were the very pillar keeping the city standing. Shahmir had only heard about the city from his grandfather - may he rest in peace - who had told him that the city's foundation was laid down by angels themselves.

"When a man who has loved God more than anything else in his time and place dies, he is reborn in Delhi - the city that was founded by the righteous for the righteous."

Shahmir spent the first night sleeping under the open skies and he spent the next few days wandering. He fed on whatever he could find and he rested wherever he could find shade from the burning sun in between. His fair skin quickly withered, his body shrinked unto itself, so much so, he became a ghastly version of his former self. Soon, he forgot how to weep and make sense of things. Most nights, he would drift to sleep remember his home, his father, his mother, and his love that he was able to leave behind so easily.