Dawn Of The Day - ONC 2022

Chapter 4. Past and Present

We had not seen each other more than a few times a year since the breakup. If it was up to either of us, I guessed we could do without that tradition, but you wouldn't go through your whole life with someone, then cut them out that easily.

My brother Vince loved to play peacemaker, even when he tried to be subtle about it.

Honestly, besides crushing my heart and self-confidence for a while, Robert didn't do anything else wrong.

He was just not the type to sugar-coat anything. For a young girl who had barely got the hang of adulthood, his brutal honesty had been a hard pill to swallow.

I remembered clearly what he had said back then. "I don't think we're compatible in any way, Louise. You're always like a little sister to me, but now I know what I want, and you're not it."

Brutal, but after a few years, it didn't seem so painful anymore.

Occasionally, I still thought about Robert. How it used to be and how it would be if we had not broken up...

"How long has what been?" I whipped my head to him with a deep frown.

"How long has it been since our breakup." Robert emphasized every word as if I was a child. "We've never talked after that... Really talked, I mean. Not just 'Hello, how are you doing?' at a Thanksgiving dinner. You were just up and left and it's like I never saw you again..."

"Oh, so now it's my fault? What do you want me to do? Stay and give you puppy eyes? That's not how breakups work, Robert. And what's there to talk about? We're incompatible, remember?" I scoffed, feeling incredulous.

It had been his words. It funny how we could be friends for most of our lives, then be in a relationship for five years, and still be incompatible. I guessed it could be like that, but either way, I had stopped torturing myself a long time ago. It didn't matter, especially now. After all that time, this couldn't be what he chose to talk about, in the middle of his company's empty parking lot while I looked like a punching bag. I didn't know Robert had a sense of humor.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean..." He said.

Robert looked down at his hands. He bit his lower lip, which he always did when he knew he messed up. The gesture that used to get me every time now only drove me nuts.

"Didn't mean what, Robert? Didn't mean to bring up the past at an extremely inappropriate time and place or didn't mean to dump me back then like I was just some kind of random hookup?" I laughed dryly. My patience was thin, and Robert knew it.

"I never meant to hurt you, Lou. Never meant for us to get so awkward after all those years. We used to be so close! I mean we were friends before we were even anything else..."

Robert ran his hand through his thick brown hair, huffing. His other hand clenched and unclenched repeatedly as if he tried to rack his brain, piecing his thoughts together. Robert might not be the chattiest person in the world, but he also never lacked words when needed to. The antics were just a little out of character for him.

Robert then looked at me, searching for something on my face I was not sure what. The emotions in his eyes were intense. I turned away.

I was not in the mood for this kind of drama. If only he had said these things a few years earlier, maybe we would still be friends. It was hard to patch things up and be normal after a relationship and breakup like we had had, so I had hoped Robert would be the bigger person and reach out to me, but he had never done so. My eyes felt dry and hot. My thoughts scattered.

"Listen, Robert," I chuckled, not sure what to say. "Don't you think it's a little late for it now? I mean we are fine just the way we are. There's no point in bringing up the past. Something just can't be the same once it's broken, but we are fine, right? Better than a lot of people..."

"You're right," Robert straightened up in the driver's seat. "We're fine. There's no point. Forget about it."

There was his monotonous voice again. The light reflected on his glasses making it impossible to see his eyes from this angle. Whatever I thought I had seen on his face earlier was gone.

Outside, in one corner of the parking lot, a pigeon caught my eye. It hopped around, looking lost and confused. The ridiculous bird reminded me so much of myself that I chuckled.

I didn't know Robert was looking at me until I felt his hand on the bandage around my head, readjusting it. The gesture was simple, but out of place. I jolted back and glared at him, ready to say something when we both heard it.

Car engines. Several ones, approaching from one direction. One look in Robert's eyes and I knew something was deeply wrong.

"What's wrong, Robert?"

My voice came out as a squeaky whisper. I didn't know why I sounded like that. The expression on Robert's face was unlike anything I had seen before. Not like when we had broken Mr. Dalton's window and faced his wrath, or when my dad had caught Robert climbing out of my window. It was not even the same as when he had been on the hospital bed and the doctors had announced that he might never be able to see again...

"Do you trust me, Lou?" Robert turned to me.

I didn't know the answer to that question. I didn't know why he asked me either. Through the car's foggy windshield, I could see three military trucks and one black SUV stopped in front of us. A group of soldiers stepped out and stood by their trucks while the the SUV's door opened, revealing a short man in a suit and tie. His salt and pepper hair was slick back. He looked confident and controlled, like someone in charge. The man didn't approach us as if he waited for us to come to him first.

I turned to Robert with more questions, but his attention was on that man. Robert breathed heavily and, after a long time, his eyes finally returned to me. They roamed my face. Before I could understand what happened, Robert reached out and pulled me in.

His chest was as warm and solid as I remembered. The clean smell of his puffy coat was nostalgic. His lips burned on mine. My head was mush and I clung to him, but deep down inside, I knew everything was wrong. As suddenly as it started, Robert let go of me and got out of the car.