Chapter 1

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A romance that happens once a year, during those hot summer nights. Making out on the beach, in a small village since we were kids. Getting drunk together in the halls of an empty house, parents away at some fancy party. Kisses, hugs and touches exchanged between us, like a promise of our love, shall we remember it forever.

Sometimes I try to write down those beautiful moments shared between us, to keep the memory alive at least in some ways, but all I feel is hurt. I miss the person he was, because every summer when we meet again, he comes in like a new person, changed by the year we didn't see each other, he experienced things without me and I without him.

So, every summer I had to fall in love with someone new. But me, I was nothing new.

He felt happy, sad maybe even in love, but how could I know that when we are thousands of miles apart. He had at least four girlfriends, only temporary -of course, and look at me. I wait for summer to come, save myself only for him but he couldn't do the same for me. Rejected all the boys begging me to date or at least kiss them, would tell them that I was seeing someone. Maybe that was true or maybe I only made it up in my mind to keep me from getting hurt, protecting myself from the asshole that he actually was.

I can't even count all of the nights I fell asleep crying, wishing we didn't live so far away, wishing that we didn't have to meet under such circumstances. Wishing we lived right next to each other, neighbours seeing each other every day, not once a year. But of course, I can't keep living in all those what-ifs, because this is real life and we- I can't change that. And maybe it's for the best, because I'm sure that he wouldn't actually pick me over some stupid Sabrina or Sophia from high school. And I think I'm okay with that because I get him for the whole summer.

I don't get to be his girlfriend, but I get those intimate moments with him, when he's real with me and shows me his emotions, the slow sex and making out for hours, getting drunk and having fun. No commitment or fights about our relationship, nothing about jealousy or anything else. I'm pretty proud of myself for never getting jealous, just sad or even disappointed.

But sometimes, I think that this is what I actually like, no commitment or fights, just enjoying each other's company.

Harry and I have known each other since we were kids and he's only a year older. Our parents get together every summer, somewhere in Italy, and we always stay at a big villa near a beach that my parents own.

The first time something happened between me and Harry, I didn't want to believe it. We didn't always have the best friendship, we actually hated each other and then we started making out in random places when our parents weren't looking, then it was sex and it's this. It's funny because I can still remember our first kiss really well, as if it happened yesterday.

*2 years ago*

"Harry, you're a fucking idiot!" I shout at him, throwing my hands in the air. My frustration has gotten the best of me and after keeping my mouth shut this whole time, I cannot hold it in me anymore. I give up, if he wants to be an asshole then so be it, I can be a bitch. Two can play this game.

"Oh, fuck off!" He shouts as well and walks away from me. I turn my head to see some random girl on our patio, getting dressed as fast as she can and I try not to look and the bare upper half. I give her a little smile, trying to send her a message saying 'I'm not angry at you but him, you have nothing to do with this, but I don't think one smile can actually say that much, so let's just hope she gets it.

I quickly move inside the villa and chase after Harry, who is only in his boxers. He goes upstairs into his room and as he tries to close his door, I stop it with m hand and come inside. I frown at him as I close it behind me. I can just see how angry he is with me, but I have nothing to do with this. He runs his hand through his hair and walks around his room. He is frowning at me and when I open my mouth to say something, he just holds his hand up, silencing me.

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⏰ Last updated: Mar 13, 2022 ⏰

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