The epic adventures of Cyrus. Very cool, must read, new york times bestseller.

Chapter 1: My name is Cyrus and I epic.

一个风和日丽的早上, I, Cyrus, the head of the Mondstadt Adventurers Guild, was out in the streets of the city recruiting new members for the Adventurers Guild.

Several people in the city intriguied me with their various skills and capabilities. Noelle, for instance, is inhuman woman with strenghts unparalled to anyone else's (except for me of course). I have gotten sick and tired of carrying the guild's ass. Reckless Pallad has gotten me into too many life or death scenarios, to the point I wonder why he even is still hired by us.

With Fischl, uh, somewhere and Bennett being bedridden, we're are currently lacking in members with actual skill. Dr livingstone was out somewhere doing research of some sorts. Stanley was crying in the tavern, Jack fucking broke his knees.

突然, I was jumped by 4 or 6 people all holding m1 garands. They pointed their barrels right at my forehead. I was stunned, razz dazzled, confused, bumfuzzled, in a state of aboslute shock, dumfounded, paralysed, blindsided, other words that mean shock. What could suck hooligans be doing in our peaceful town of Mondstadt?!

"Hand over the mora buster!" said one of the gangsters,"or else we gonna fucking pop that head clean of your beautiful neck" 

I was simultaneously flattered as well as fearing for my life. Actually, I fear nothing. I stood that cold rock faced at them, and stared right into their souls. My eyes scrowled at them as I watch their eye grows in fear. They were quaking in their boots and shivering in their timbers.

Immediately, I started to beat the everloving daylights out of them. They could not see my fists of fury coming at them. They tried to shoot me, but the confusion only made them shoot themselves. Big sad.

At the end of the fight, they all laid there, on the ground, surrounding me. Rain fell down of my shoulders as I looked at the sky, reflecting on my actions. How society has failed us all, to the point that these once fine gentlemen had to turn to a life of crime. If only I could have prevented their conversion to the dark side. I could had been their Luke to their Palpatine. This is so sad. Can we get a follow in chat?

Afterwards I went to the cat's tail to get a drink. What was I doing in the town again? I forgor 

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End of chapter 1. Cyrus please have my babies.