𝐑𝐔𝐍𝐀𝐖𝐀𝐘 𝐊𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐑. heejake

Chapter 7

Hiraeth
a deep longing for something, especially one's home.

[Sim Jaeyun]

Jake can't sleep, he's been moving around left and right while trying to fall asleep but he can't. He shared a tent with his friends Sunoo and Jungwon. When he sat up, Sunoo was no longer there. Just Jungwon sleeping peacefully like a baby.

Jake decides to leave the tent for a while when he noticed the fireplace outside their tent is lit up. To his surprise, he saw Heeseung playing with a stick. The boy is just sitting quietly as he looks at the fire, his head is deep in thoughts.

"Can't sleep?" Jake snaps back to reality upon hearing Heeseung's voice.

"Have you seen Sunoo? He's not in the tent" He ignores Heeseung's question and asks for his friend instead. "I don't know, maybe he's with Sunghoon. That kid is also not in our tent"

"What?? Let's look for-" Heeseung grabs a hold of Jake's arm who was about to walk away and find his friend.

"Let go, Sunoo might get hurt" Jake tries to shake the strong grip of the older's hand but Heeseung doesn't let go. "I know Sunghoon, he might act dumb sometimes but he won't hurt your friend"

Jake gives in. The latter sat on the ground beside Heeseung and proceeds to zone out while staring at nothing. Silence.

Silence engulfed the two boys as they stared into nothing. Only the sound of crickets and gentle wind can be heard. Nobody wanted to speak.

"Can I ask you a question?" Jake attempts to break the awkward silence.

"What?"

"Why are you and your friend's such assholes?" Heeseung looks up at Jake with a frown on his face. This piece of shit. The older boy felt offended at the younger's words but he didn't deny it. It was true. He and his friends are indeed assholes who did stupid things.

"Do you want me to punch you in the face?" Heeseung coldly replies.

"I'm just asking. Maybe you really are just like that. There shouldn't be any excuse for bullying someone. You have a perfect life Heeseung. You're rich, you were smart, but you decide to throw your life away? By bullying other students just so you can have fun? I don't get it..."

Heeseung did feel guilty sometimes. When the kids he bullied would cry in front of him. They always looked helpless, just like he was when he was young. No one knew the other side of Heeseung, the sensitive and vulnerable side. No one knew about the young Heeseung who always suffered. No one knew until this night.

"Maybe it's not an acceptable excuse but it's all I've ever known..." Heeseung suddenly takes his shirt off, revealing scars and wounds on his body. Jake looks at him shocked, he didn't know about what Heeseung went through but he felt that life was hard for the older as well.

"Dad used to beat me up before permanently leaving me two years ago. When I started failing my grades, he always took out his anger by hurting me. I let it happen because that's how weak I am" The older boy tells his story as he wore his shirt back on. Jake feels sorry for Heeseung. No one deserves to be hurt like that.

"Ever since the abuse happened, I decided that I should be what my Dad didn't want me to be. I hated him so much that I made sure he doesn't get what he wants. He doesn't deserve a perfect son. Eventually, he became fed up and left me alone to move somewhere far. I don't miss him of course. I'm glad he's gone. But it does pain me sometimes that he had to take my mom with him. My mom was loving and kind. Maybe if I told her about dad, things could have been different. But I didn't, maybe that's also why I'm like this. A bully just like my father."