when she was little she loved being girly, when she got a little older she hated it, then loved it, then hated it, then loved it again. she found herself doing a balancing act with her soul. dancing with her identity. now she has learned to appreciate it more. but she still sometimes finds herself doing all the things her old self once did. she found herself seeking attention from men and putting down other women. she hated how it followed her, how it haunted her life. she loved the way her bitter-sweet lip gloss stung but hated the scars that followed.
she was raised- no, groomed into femininity which resulted in her either tiptoeing around it or diving headfirst into it. she thinks she's happy with her current state, but deep down she knows this won't last long. she will never truly be comfortable with herself no matter what. she will never truly embrace it no matter how hard she tries or how much she wants to, she will never be able to fully ignore the fact that this wasn't her choice. her mannerisms, her fashion sense, her way of thinking and feeling were all made up for her by strangers before she was even born. she will never truly be free from the feeling of never feeling herself.
even though she exuded that she thought highly of herself, her self-esteem was at earth's core. her ego was so high, but her self-image was so low. she was the rocket that soared to the moon but came crashing down with haste as it had never built enough momentum to stay there.
Authors Note xx
This one is a bit bittersweet in my opinion. I'm not too sure if this is too long or too short, let me know what you think in the comments, I would really appreciate your input <3
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My Essays/Poems 💖
PoetryHiya Babes!!!! this is just a little book of my essays that i make purely for my own amusement and poems, all written by me (ofc), all expressing my emotions and thoughts on different topics. I'm mostly doing this to see if: A. people enjoy my poetr...
