Only A Man

Despair

He's trying to be happy, to holdback his tears, to fight the fears that are inside. To fight the paranoia. He thinks too much. 

He walks down the dark alleyway, which only made him feel lonelier. He realizes that this mess he was in, is all his fault. He tries to think happy, yet he always becomes negative. Hs warm brown eyes are now dull, choking on tears. He looks around him, he may just sleep here tonight with the homeless. All alone, yet he somehow likes it. Then again, he also can't stand it. He comforts himself with his own low pity, and own low self-esteem. He moves towards anger, he hates what he has become. 

He starts to run away from his life, all the drama and happy memories. He doesn't want to pretend anymore. ITS ALL HIS FAULT! He stops pounding down the alleyway and drops to the cold stone and cries. 

He focuses on the negative, not having the will power to do the opposite and think positive. He tries to battle the voices in his head, its like war. He is happy, he isn't going to die. Everything will be okay. Deep down he knows that. He stops crying slowly, wiping them away. While smooths down his dark brown locks. 

He tries to think about it. Yet, also tries to think of it in a new happier light. It's going to be hard, yet he can do it. He can be happy and love himself again. He has hope, he won't let himself fall into pieces. He needs to stop analyzing things before he gets paranoid. Trying to regain balance, as he finally cleans his fancy like attire-mildly happy.  

Turning around, walking towards the lighted streets. He walks from the horrible hazardous underground-never looking back. He finally walks back to his lavish apartment, wishing life was simple again with his sister. Then again, he is a spoiled rich man to the outside world. Sadly on the inside, he was a depressed lonely man. 

He loved the underground. The fear gave him passion. Seeing all the poor folks set in their ways. The music and happiness they have, almost felt primal. He met a woman there. She was like him, she had another life-coming from a totally different world. He was the one with the most secrets. She didn't say 'good bye' to him. Both understood they will meet again, someday. 

He thinks again, after all he is his own worst enemy. 

(A/N: We never really know the true nature of Celebrities. I wanted to try and show that some still have emotions and their own problems. Sometimes we forget they are human too, even if we don't want to acknowledge it.)