Bad call pt. 3

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Day after day Nat stood by the window looking into your room waiting for you to wake up. She could just barely make out Maria and Carol asking, well begging at this point for you to wake up. You were close, you could hear everything they were saying. But you couldn't get your eyes open. After a week something happened and Nick and Maria had to run off to deal with the crisis leaving Carol in there alone.

Nat slowly made her way into the room as not to startle the almost asleep Captain Marvel. "Carol" Nat said, "why don't you go get cleaned up and get something to eat. Maybe even take a nap in a bed... I'll make sure nothing happens to her and I'll call you if she wakes up."

Noticing the sincerity and almost pleasing look in Nat's eyes, Carol nodded and got up to leave. "Just please let me know if she wakes up" she said as she left the room.

Nat slowly sat down next to your bed clutching on to your hand as if you were to disappear the moment she would let go.

"God I need you to wake up" she started... "I can't... I can't be here without you." At this point the vulnerability and fear in Nat's voice would be enough to scare anyone because Nat is never this vulnerable with anyone.

Trying to not cry Nat continued talking to you.

"I'm not sure if you can hear me, but I'm sorry. You and Yelena are the closest thing I have to family and I almost lost you because I couldn't find it in me to stand up to Steve. So I need you to wake up so I can spend however long it takes apologizing and earning your trust. I love you so please just wake up."

After that Nat just sat next to you, watching the rise and fall of your chest as she held your hand. Eventually she fell asleep with her head on the bed still holding your hand. Hours later Nat was awoken by a hand running their hand through her hair.

Sitting up with a start she found you sitting, well laying there looking at her. It was then that Nat finally let her tears fall. But before any words could be spoken Carol and Maria had burst into the room having been alerted that you were awake.

"Hi mom" you said weakly.

"Hi baby" she responded. You were seeing a whole new side to your mom, one that was more vulnerable and soft than she has ever been with you.

You sat there as she took a deep breath before continuing. "You scared me. When Nick called they were in the middle of resuscitating you and he did know if you were going to make it. I thought I had lost you and that I wouldn't get to say goodbye."

You didn't even know how to respond. You were still there believing that you actually were wrong in your call.

"I'm sorry, I made a bad call and I put everyone at risk. I lost their trust and they didn't really want me around anymore but I didn't have anywhere to go... I lost everything over a call I thought was right. I'm sorry...."

Carol cut you off before you could finish. "Baby they recorded the mission. It was the team that made a bad call when they treated you the way they did."

You started tearing up as she continued.

"The recording picked up the audio of the screams of people that you heard. So before you apologize, it's the team that should be apologizing to you. You made the right call baby."

As she was finishing talking the team was standing at the door with Steve in the front and that sent you into a panic.

"I... I d don't want to see them" you stuttered out and as Carol went to push them out Nat came in to try and stop your panic attack. You've had them before so she knew how to help you through them. When you finally came out of the panic attack, Nat got up to leave. But before she could leave you grabbed her arm and said "please don't shut me out again."

To which Nat just turned and responded with a "never."

As the weeks went on you were cleared from medbay and allowed to go back to your room. Your mom had finally gone back to space after almost a month of being with you. But she promised to be back more and she had yet to break any of her promises to you.

It also took quite a long time for you to trust the team again and you don't think you could ever fully trust Steve but he was a part of the team. Nat learned to stand up to Steve and confronted him over every single thing he did wrong that hurt others especially you.

She also refused to leave your side. Her and Yelena became glued to your hip. Once you got added back to missions you were protected on both sides, both terrified to have something happen to you again that they could stop.

One night you heard Nat screaming from a nightmare and you ran to her room to see her sitting up in the bed crying. You had kind of expected it as this happened six months after the incident. So you knew what it was about, it was about finding you on the ground barely breathing. She still blamed herself even though it was almost a year ago.

You slowly walked into the room, sat onto the bed and pulled her into you. You let her cry and apologize until she had no more tears and when the sniffling finally stopped you pulled her face to look at you.

"Nat you have to stop doing this to yourself" you said.

She looked away when she said "I'm surprised you forgave me."

"Was there ever any doubt I would" you questioned back.

"I just, everyone told me you would but I didn't think I deserved it. I stood by while they treated you like crap. I stood by as you slowly crumbled and I, I just can't believe you forgave me" she finally got out since the tears started again.

You sighed and said "Nat I need you to look at me, and hear me when I say this. I forgive you and I did so a while ago. Did it take a while to trust you again, yes. But you're my family and of everyone on the team you didn't expect my trust again right away, instead you worked to earn it back. And that Nat shows me more than anything everyone else has ever done. So yes I forgave you a while ago and I need you to finally forgive yourself."

You both sat in silence before you laid down and said I love you and trust you Nat, please don't ever doubt that.

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