SCRIPTURIENT REVIEWS | OPEN

❄ AROMATIC | FARAH❄

Reviewed by: LyricalFlaws

Book title: Aromantic

Author's name: Mitali2203

Cover: 6/10

I like the girl in the cover, she's beautiful, but the fonts on your username and the quote under it needs to be edited, also the title could be in another color that matches the cover. The quote also needs to be in a smaller size since it's taking up the space and also, your username should be smaller too. The part I like is the 'word' at the end, but the other fonts don't match the theme of the picture.

Title: 10/10

It's captivating, it's nothing like I have seen any writer think of. Props to you for thinking of that.

Blurb: 6/10

The story idea has potential. But there are some adjustments that need to be done for the words you use for this blurb. Here are some:

'Through her entire life, Auryn wonders about her inability to be attached to anyone. She never waited for a charming prince, nor did she want him to come. That only makes her wish there is a word out there that can show her what she really is.'

That sounds more polished and gets the idea clear out of any misconceptions.

I think you need to describe Aron more by adding an adjective before his name. 'What happens when she goes on a drive with a hauntingly striking Aron.' – I also think that the part about the car ride doesn't make up for a whole story, she won't always be in car rides with him. You can simplify it by 'Will she forever be entitled to her inability or will she be with someone?' – something like that would suffice.

Creativity and Originality: 8/10

I already read about a girl's unattachment personality all over the website. It's nothing new to the table, but your added touches with the descriptions about how Auryn assures herself and how her urge to feel something is highlighted through the start.

PLOT FLOW: 5/10

I know you are going for a short story, but the plot is messy everywhere. There are a lot of holes in how fast she goes on the date with a guy she barely knows? There aren't any descriptions that can say who he is except the one where you show us his looks but that's it? He is supposed to be an essence of the story but the plot is so fast paced that I don't see anything about him that drives on his character. It just directly goes through the fact that she is calm, then Amora tells her to go on a date with him and he tries to kiss her, then tells her she's Aromantic. Any readers can't understand what happens and there needs to be a process to the plot. Rather than going fast, take more time to put through descriptions of his character's personality. She only goes through this for the word and when she knows it, it doesn't say more than how she screams it. That's basically it.

Writing/Grammar: 4/10

I wish I could give this a better score, but I feel like this story can be edited if you just rewrite the whole thing. You are inconsistent with the dialogue comma or full stop, some parts have that, others don't. Chapter 1, 'it gets better' is left hanging while you can put 'It gets better." – just don't leave dialogues like that. Either put a comma or a full-stop.

Other examples of grammar errors: 'Me, on a date - with Aron! You must be kidding' - 'Me on a date with Aron. You must be kidding,'

'But it is all alright if I get to see her smile.' –

'But, it's alright if I get to see her smile.'

You also alternate between past tense and present like 'There should be a word. There must be a word' I voice my thoughts – then there is 'Take me home' his hands reached. Voice my thoughts is present, his hands reached is in past tense.

It's only 3 chapters, so you have an opportunity to fix all of it.

Character Development: 3/10

There is no steady development. AT ALL. Auryn just keeps hoping, there are no proper descriptions for her personality, except for her emotions that seem to be calm, then nervous and back to hardcore sobbing in Aron's car, then just happy that she finds a word. Amora and Aron could be defined better than this, their characters are not detailed enough. All I read is how Amora wants Auryn to be happy and how Aron just asks her some questions, then kisses her to make her feel, and nothing happens. I don't even get a glimpse of his character development because he's only talked about vaguely from her opinion of how he is everywhere she goes.

Genre Relevence: 7/10

It is a very short story, it's not romantic at all except for a hint or two of how she rides with him for a date and no background story. Romance stories have an emotional appeal to them, it's like he's forcing himself on her when there are paragraphs indicating that he tries to hold her hand, he mumbles her name on the way, he forces his kiss on her, it isn't romantic at all. But, I like the two parts paragraphs at the end of chapter 2.

Reader's Enjoyment: 5/10

I am surprised, to be honest. I thought there would be more chapters, since short stories are usually 10 to 15 chapters in my opinion. I can't say it interested me, the title does capture my attention more than what I have read honestly. You have a chance to improve and I think you have a potential more than this.

Overall Score: 54/100