My Loser [ONESHOT] | Reddie

My Loser

With a sudden and heavy knock at his door, Richie jumped out of his janky motel bed, hearing a familiar voice. "Hey Rich, let me in," Eddie whispered loud enough for Richie to hear. He quickly let Eddie in, and was immediately met with a tight embrace, tight enough to hurt a little.

"Hey, hey, buddy what's wrong?" murmured Richie while gently pushing the door to a close.

He himself had also been shaken up by their earlier encounter with that monster, having almost lost his Eddie. For as long as Richie knew it, he'd been infatuated with him. Their long nights staying up in Eddie's bedroom and reading comics in the dark and their summer days spent laying down on the grass and enjoying each other's company was enough for him to fall in love with that clean-freak, nerdy boy he once knew.

Of course, he'd never been able to tell him how he truly felt, times were different, and even now his feelings were repressed in the fear of being rejected, even worse, completely shut out. He knew he needed Eddie, no matter how torturous it was to stay "friends" with him.

"Listen I.." Eddie's words trailed off as he broke their embrace, "I just didn't feel safe in my room alone, after.. you know, what happened today. I was hoping you wouldn't mind if we could share your bed. Plus it's pretty cold right now."

Richie tried to hide how flustered he was, cheeks turning red at Eddie's request. Feeling nervous, Richie teased his friend out of habit, "What is it, are you scared Eds?"

"Shut up asshole, and don't fuckin call me Eds," replied Eddie out of defensiveness. He pushed past Richie and sat on the bed, looking like he had something to say, and quietly reflected upon his thoughts with his hands in his lap.

Richie couldn't help but start freaking out at how cute Eddie was when he was bothered, moving steadily towards the bed and sitting down next to him.

Something came over Richie in that moment, and he felt as if something in the air was different about how he felt. After almost losing him to that stupid clown, he didn't want to miss another chance to be honest and true to himself about how he felt, regretting how much of a coward he was back when they were kids.

Grabbing Eddie's hand, Richie started, "Hey Eds I know.. I know this is a bit out of nowhere but, I'm just really glad I didn't lose you back there. I really love you a lot and I hope you know that man."

"I love you too." Eddie quickly replied, almost stumbling over his words. As suddenly as he finished uttering the last word, he found Richie's face buried in his shoulder.

Richie tried to stifle his sobs, but he couldn't hold it back any longer. He was surely happy that he still had his Eddie, that he could still have a chance at confessing his feelings, but his years of remaining just "friends" with someone that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, that he wanted no one else to have, that he wanted to be his and his only quickly caught up to him in a burst of emotions. He was this close to his childhood crush and he still couldn't get the words out.

Fuck it, he decided, he would rather live without Eddie for the rest of his life instead of sitting there for one more moment and pretending like Eddie wasn't way more than just a friend to him.

"Eddie I.. I love you, and not just as friends, since we were fucking kids I'd been dying to hold your hand, to kiss you, to hug you and never let you go. I've been going fucking crazy not being able to share how I felt with you, and it doesn't matter if you don't feel the same way about me but I had to let you kn-"

Eddie reached forward, interrupting Richie's long awaited outburst with his lips, waiting for what felt like years before pulling away. Quickly regretting what he had done, Eddie suddenly began, "I- I'm sorry I don't know what the fuck I was thinking. I'm sorry- I didn't mean to force myself on you. God I'm such a mess I should just fucking leave."

Richie was at a loss for words. Eddie hurriedly got up and didn't make it two steps forward before Richie grabbed his arm and pulled him back down to the bed. He fell on top of Richie, shocked with so many sensations he had never felt before. Richie's whole world came collapsing down in front of him, was this real? Had he been hallucinating? Taking in Eddie's face only a few inches away from his own, Richie suddenly wrapped his arms tight around his Eds. "I don't ever want you to apologize to me again, Eds. Ever. And I mean it."

Eddie's mind was filled with so many thoughts that he couldn't bear to hold back, but in that moment, all he wanted to do was sink into Richie. It felt so natural, as if he'd been waiting for it his whole life. God how had he been so stupid to think Richie didn't love him, they were practically joined at the knee when they were kids. He couldn't believe he never saw the signs, never let himself admit that he had been in love with Richie.

"You're pretty fucking oblivious Eds," whispered Richie as he nervously laughed to himself.

Eddie began, "Hey, don't call me Eds asshole, and you're pretty fucking clueless yourself aren't you?" "Well, yeah but I can't say I'm not happy that you're finally mine," said Richie.

They both stayed put for a few more moments before agreeing to get under the covers. With their faces so close together, all Richie could do was stare and take in everything about Eddie like he never had before. He was sure he had the dumbest grin on his face, but he didn't even care at all, he was with his Eds, and that was all that mattered.

Eddie pulled him closer and buried his face into Richie's chest, starting to get a little sleepy. "Hey, Richie, I know we're the losers and all, but I want you to know that you're my loser," whispered Eddie as he dozed off. Richie couldn't have felt lighter than at that moment. He felt like he regained a piece of himself he thought he would never get back.