I placed my palm on his scruffy cheek, my eyes searching his. Somehow hoping that I'd get a glimpse of the man who once made my heart skip a beat or two.
It was irrational.
It was borderline desperate.
It was everything I promised myself I wouldn't do but did anyway. Telling myself over and over that, I had to see it with my own eyes to really believe it. And then I did. It stung more than I thought it would, but in that exact same moment, I knew what I had to do. It was time to say goodbye.
Gently, I let my thumb trace the familiar curves of his face, convincing my brain to at least keep an image of him. The very last one that would remind me that once upon a time there was a boy who braved my walls and managed to knock some turrets down. With each passing swipe, I felt some memories of him slip through cracks; down to the dark and dank recesses of my mind. With every breath I took, the vice grip that once held my heart for what seemed like a lifetime began to loosen. That's when I knew my time was up; this moment was the end of our saga. I let my hand linger for a few more seconds, before letting it drop to my side. I took a step back and smiled at him; the one I knew he always liked. "Can you promise me one thing?" I heard myself say.
"What?" he asked.
"Remember me from time to time?"
He shoved his hands inside his pockets just as a familiar smirk curled on his lips. "Okay," he replied.
"Thank you," I responded. I took a step back and then another, my eyes still locked with his. My brain is willing me to look away to make things easier, but then again, I never liked it easy. So stared at the boy, I did.
The boy who made me laugh even when I refused to smile.
The boy who taught me that things aren't always black and white.
The boy I was meant to meet, but never have.
The boy who earned a piece of my heart, but didn't want it.
The boy who taught me that there is nothing wrong with walking away.
The boy who once meant everything and will soon turn into nothing.
With that thought in my mind, I gave him one last smile, and finally managed to turn my back at him.
One step.
Two steps.
He's the boy I once l loved, but he's also the same boy I choose to forget.
-FIN-
